Friday, November 27, 2009

Commando

What is the most adventuresome thing you've done?


There are two things that I think come in a close tie for first. The first and most obvious one is skydiving. I've been twice in the last year and a half and I plan to go a third time next year if I have the money. I have always loved the feeling of free falling and skydiving is exactly that. I want to go a third time because on the third jump I would be allowed to go without being strapped onto an instructor. Of course, an instructor would still jump with me, otherwise I wouldn't go. I love it, it's an amazing feeling.

The second thing that was adventuresome for me but probably pretty average for most other people was going to RYLA. I got a random phone call one day about going to this youth camp thing. I had no idea what it was all about, but I figured it would look really good on a resume as it had to do with the Rotary Club. I normally tend to ignore things that I don't completely know what they're about, but this time I figured that I should get out of my comfort zone and give it a shot. I went, by myself, to this camp where I was confused out of my mind the entire first day. I had no idea why I was there or why I had been called. Normally people have to apply for the program. I really lucked out I guess. Going to RYLA was one of my favorite experiences and if I hadn't just gotten off my butt and decided to go, I would have missed out on an awesome opportunity. For me, going somewhere like that completely by myself without knowing a single person was REALLY adventuresome. Now I do it all the time, haha. Go me Go!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

In The Tunnels

For Christmas once my mom gave everyone in my family a jar full of questions for us to answer. We got it years ago with the instruction to pull them out as a sort of journal entry topic when we were older, hopefully married with kids. I plan to answer them all later in my life like intended, but I think it will be kind of fun to answer some of them now. So although no one reads these, I'm going to do one occassionally just for fun. Here we go!


Describe family traditions that you remember


One of the biggest, and especially the most memorable today, is playing Nintendo together at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Today is Thanksgiving and, like usual, all the 'kids' got together downstairs and played Tetris, SuperSmash Bros, and SuperMario. We usually play Dr. Mario too, but we haven't gotten to that yet. I don't remember how long ago our silly little Nintendo tradition came about, but I do remember that it was my idea (Go ME!!). I had been thinking about how kind of normal Christmas Eve was, so I asked Adam and Ashley if they wanted to stay up and play Dr. Mario. Ever since then we have done it every year, and now we have Mark and Katrina playing as well.

Our family has never been particularly big on traditions. And we're a little strange. Perhaps that's why our most prominent tradition includes something so nerdy as Nintendo....haha. Another fun tradition we used to have was going to Lake Powell with the Lethbridge family every year. We haven't been for the last two summers because everyone's at the age where we don't have the time to coordinate a week long trip. The year we stopped it was because Adam and Ashley had work and I had Clayton. I think Synergy tour was the same week as our Powell date, or something like that. However it worked, we ended up selling our half of the time share back to the Lethbridges. We all miss it a lot and I hope that once we all are married and settled down that we'll be able to start going again with all of us and our families.

I loved going to Lake Powell every year, if only for the car ride. I love long car rides. It's a fun time to talk, goof off, and anticipate what's to come. Also, Lake Powell is just pure awesomeness. I'm slightly afraid of being in water because I can't see what's beneath me, but Lake Powell has always been worth it. I'm terrible at wakeboarding, but I've started to enjoy tubing in the past few years. I used to hate it because Bud is a sadistic boat driver and I would always get hurt, but now I find that kind of fun. Masocist....haha. It was also fun hanging out with the Lethbridges. We would always watch "What About Bob," "Groundhog Day," and "The Man Who Knew Too Little." Yay for Bill Murray at Powell. I also loved playing games with them. I'm going to miss Lake Powell. :(

Those are the biggest traditions that I can think of....we have a couple Christmas ones like our candy calendar for December, setting up the tree together, and opening presents together in the morning, but those are all kind of the usual traditions that a lot of families have. Although I do have to say that our family is unique in the fact that it's an effort to get Adam, Ashley and I out of bed on Christmas morning. We're all excited for presents, but rather than getting up at 5 or 6 like most kids, we roll out of bed and into the shower at around 9....we're a little lazy. Well, that's not true. We're just not morning people. And it doesn't help that we've usually stayed up until 5 or 6 the night before playing Dr. Mario.

I love my awkward family. :D

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Cave

Heeey.....so I'm having a serious lack of good new music other than Mika right now. Do you guys have any fantastic ideas of music I should listen to??

Friday, November 20, 2009

Be Calm

I wanted to change the background color on my blog but with no success. Maybe I'll try again later. So basically this week has been a seriously of fantastically awesome failures on my part. There's been one a day so far. Here's a list:

Monday: Slept in through half my classes on accident because I'm AWESOME.
Tuesday: Poured rootbeer all over my computer because I thought it would be AWESOME. My computer actually ended up being more or less okay except for the keyboard which is having some struggles because the rootbeer dried and all the keys are sticking. I pulled the sticky keys off and washed them, which helped, but I wasn't able to wash the mechanisms underneath each key very well. And I accidentally popped the mechanism off the 'c' key and tried to stick it back on myself. So now I may need to go in and get my keyboard cleaned at the Apple store, and I definitely need to get the 'c' key fixed. The most annoying is that it still clicks, it just doesn't show up so I think that I've typed it and I look up and it's not there. Ugh....I'll live. It could've been SO much worse. I'll take it. Oh, I also spilled all over the couch cushion and the pillow. That was nice. Apparently our pillows can go through the washing machine. Who knew? Someone suggested I get one of those protective keyboard covers. I think it's not a bad idea, I'm just worried it'll make it harder to type. Most of my keys are starting to unstick now that I'm using them more. Should I try to fix the 'c' key on my own? Decisions....
Wednesday: Stuck my hand on the stove like an AWESOME person and burned my thumb. Oddly enough it didn't hurt, just burned a really smooth bar onto my finger. No more fingerprint? Not quite that cool.....haha. I'm just glad it wasn't an instant blister. Then I would've had to wear a glove at work, which would've SUCKED.
Thursday: I spilled at work because I thought water all over the floor when I'm in a hurry would be AWESOME. Fortunately it was only two glasses of water and it was only in the aisle. I'm so glad I didn't actually spill ON anyone. Phew** And fortunately I had just handed the table their hot chocolate. Super lucky because most of the spill made it's way onto my pants before hitting the floor. That would've KILLED. Eeek.

So today is Friday and needless to say I'm a little concerned. Can I break the pattern and defy fate? We'll see.

We got our work schedules for the rest of Nov/Dec yesterday. I kind of wish we always got our schedules in month long increments instead of every week. Or at least every two weeks would be nice. I mean, I totally understand why they do it the way they do. I'm just saying. I do appreciate how flexible the schedules are though, so I shouldn't complain at all. I'm pretty excited about the schedule, I'm scheduled a lot more and that will be nice since I need money to pay for Synergy. I made my first payment today. $500!!! Ahhh......my bank account was at $1000 for a while and it felt so nice. No longer.....*sniff* But ya, in a couple weeks it should be right back up there. My only qualm is that Nick appears to have accidentally scheduled me for one of the days I asked off. I say accidentally because he said that everyone who asked for days off got them off. Oops Nick, oops. The day I'm scheduled for just happens to be the day I have a test for one of my online classes. Kind of important.... I'll just have to talk to him on Saturday.

Ok, last thing I'll say for now is that the new Mika CD is pretty much the most fantastic thing I've ever heard in my life. Just a little tidbit for ya. If you don't know who Mika is, shame on you. Listen to his music. It'll change your life. Haha.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

We're Made Of Star Speck

So life's been pretty dang awesome for me right about now. I've been really enjoying my classes at school, which I have to admit is somewhat depressing when you realize that most of my classes are grammar in some form or another. I've found the U to be much more enjoyable than the Y for a lot of different reasons. I did like some things about the Y, but it's so much more comfortable on campus at the U. I felt like I was always being watched at the Y, people always wondering what I was doing anywhere. At the U I can sit down in the middle of the hallway and get on my computer and no one else questions it. It's really nice. :D Hahaha, I also like how much less.....uptight everyone is. I can say this because I'm an uptight mormon, but most of the people at BYU had a stick up their bums. I must've missed the week at church when they handed those out. Ah well, better for me. Now that the semester's winding down it's about time to register for my Spring semester classes. Terrifying thought.... I was going over the different job possibilities for me if I major in Linguistics, and I found a few that I like. I'm considering maybe minoring in computer science as well, that way I could work on some sort of computer linguistic program or search engine. Or I could work for the FBI or something, muahahaha. I don't really know what I'm going to do at this point. It's kind of scary, as I'm sure you all know. Decisions like this always are, so I should just buck up and get over it. It's not like I can't do something else later.
I got a job finally!! Well, I got it about two months ago, but that's besides the point. I'm working at Desert Star as a server and it's actually a lot of fun. It's nice because a lot of the new people have already graduated from high school. It's the excessive amounts of 17 year olds that concerned me at first, but I'm getting along just fine with everyone I work with. And it's nice to finally be making money. I think the best part for me is that I get to take most of it home with me everyday, so I am actually able to see a return for my work almost immediately. I like that a lot.
I'm trying to save up my money for Synergy next year. Yes, I'm doing it again. Rehearsals start in January and I am sooo excited!! We're going to the Philipines next year, which I'm sure will be awesome. Auditions were maybe three weeks ago and Kim's been harassing me for those entire three weeks to find MORE BOYS!! AHHH!!! I've asked a couple though, so we'll see how that works out. There's one I'm kind of excited about and I hope he'll do it. That'd be awesome. But ya, I've been looking forward to doing Synergy again ever since we finished last time. It's the only thing that got me through 2 semesters of BYU, looking forward to being able to be at home again and doing Synergy. It's nice to have such a close group of random people. Clayton is my high school, but much less dramatic. I'm so much more excited this time than last time too because I know the people in it so much better already. Last time I was one of the youngest and it was kind of nerve wracking because I sometimes felt like I shouldn't take my place in the group for granted. I mean, I shouldn't, but I should've been a little more....outgoing maybe? Ah well, this year will be so much fun. :D
That's about it for now. I just wanted to get out all the awesome things happening to me right now because I want to make sure I'm not taking things for granted. I'm so grateful for what I have right now! My life is taking a turn for the less-boring and although that sounds really dorky, it's seriously saving my sanity. Adam can attest to the life boredom that we were going through and now it's finally starting to go away for me. It's awesome! :D You're all maniacs! PEAce OUt!!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Crazy Life

So in case any of you have ever wondered, my blog titles usually have nothing to do with what I write about. I always pick the title of the song I'm listening to when I first start. Or, if the song if lame and retarded (like "Prelude to the afternoon of a faun") I press the skip button until I get one I like. So ya, just if you were wondering. This particular song is one I've had on my computer for a long time but I've never actually heard. It's from the Coil album by Toad the Wet Sprocket. Weird....the word sprocket reminds me of Lake Powell. Do you guys remember that giant hornet that was living in the railing? Spigot, that's what we named him. Why'd we name him that? He came out of a spigot....?? Hahaha
I haven't written a blog for a while now, and though nothing I've written about has really been that interesting, I honestly have not been able to think of anything to write about this summer. A lot of things have been happening lately though, and I'm starting to get my anxious beginning of school feeling. I forgot how much I liked that feeling. I'll be starting school again in a week and I have to admit that I'm actually very excited. Especially because I'll be living at home this time and don't have to worry so much. I'm way less nervous. Yay for the U!
But ya, like I said, a lot of things have been going on, most of which I'm excited about. I just started Freaky Fridays at Clayton, which is a halloween show at my dance studio. There's usually only a Christmas show and a spring time show, but this year Kim (the director) has decided to try out seasonal shows. Hence Freaky Fridays! It's not what I'm used to at Clayton, but I have to admit that the change is a lot of fun. It's always interesting to try something new. The show is going to be at Wheeler Farm during October and I still haven't decided whether it's supposed to be scary or not. I think the general idea at first was that it WAS supposed to be, but seeing as how it's Clayton, we haven't come anywhere close, hahaha. I get to dress up like a zombie though!! I'm so excited! The costumes are going to be like Thriller and we're each in charge of our own costumes, so I don't have to worry about it not fitting and all that jazz. I'm excited to buy something and then just totally rip and burn it to shreds. Woot!
Along with having a lot of fun at Freaky Fridays, it's also been a major wake up call to see how out of shape I've been this past year. Good grief. My thighs are still so sore from rehearsal on Wednesday that I can barely walk. Well, I can walk now, but tackling the stairs is still an event....But ya, I've been realizing that no matter how much I may hate running and things like that, they're really important and I've got all the wrong muscles all buffed up. I need to balance it out a bit. Hahaha. If that made sense
Another thing that's happened lately, or I guess, will happen soon, is my friend Natalie moving to California for the semester. I'm most definitely NOT excited for her to be gone for four months, but I can't begrudge her for choosing to go work at Disney. I seriously thought about doing that myself but I felt strongly that I should stay and graduate from college first. (When I say 'felt strongly', I don't mean inspired or anything, it just made a whole lot of sense to me to stay and finish) I'm afraid that if I went to Disney I would love it so much that I wouldn't be able to come back and just finish boring old college. But ya, I'm going to miss her a lot. She's been one of my constant friends since I was....I dunno....six or seven?? Since we met. She's been my best friend basically my whole life and I'm sad she's going away. :( But she'll come back and I'm not one for sad goodbyes and all that jazz, so I haven't been too upset about it. I can always text/email/call/facebook her and all that. Yay for technology!
Another thing lately is that I've also been considering joining the Air Force. Completely random and a half, I know! I mean, I don't really want to be in the army and have that whole never being home issue, but it's just something I've been thinking about it. I dunno, what do you guys think?
I've been looking for a job lately too. Woof. That's been interesting. I think it will be a lot easier to find a job once school starts. A lot of people will be quiting before school starts and I'm planning on taking one of their spots. I only have classes on Monday and Wednesday afternoons, so my schedules pretty open now. I would really love working somewhere like the Mayan or in a bookstore. I want to get a job at Barnes and Noble, mostly for the discount, but I actually think that would be a lot of fun. At this point though, I'll take JUST about anything. Haha.
Ya, well, I want to write more and there's been a lot more going on, but I tend to be very longwinded, so I'll stop for now. May the force be with you!! :P

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

99 Red Balloons

So I've decided on a fun new twist to my 100 goals list. My newest goal is to send off a red balloon each time I accomplish something on my list. I'll write the goal on it and let it off into the sky to harass some poor stranger downwind. I'm pretty excited.
I just got back from a family trip to Seattle and I'm not gonna lie, I wanna go back really badly. It was so much fun. It gave me a little peace of mind that I've been losing as we've all been growing older. Family holidays and vacations are all different as we're growing older, going to college, getting married, and moving out. I haven't been having a hard time adjusting, I've just been looking back on the past and missing it. This trip was just a little bit of the past. My entire family came, including Mark, and we all had a blast. We did the classic things like going to the zoo, and I even made friends with my cousin who I never got along with when we were younger. All in all, this has been a good month so far and I'm hoping to keep it going. :D

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Whatever I Fear

So as I'm sitting here watching my brother play Tales of Symphonia, I'm realizing just how sad my life is. Haha. I've been applying for jobs (not super zealously, I'll admit) with no luck, but it's an ongoing process. I've been meaning to go apply at Jimmy John's since they're hiring, so maybe I'll do that tomorrow. Does anyone have any brilliant ideas of where I could work? And while we're at it, does anyone have any brilliant ideas of where my brother could work? He's been looking for a job for the past couple months and it's much harder for him than it is for me, mostly because he's having to look for a professional job while I'm able to work at fast food places and such. He applied at a company in Boston and for a while I suffered from the fear that he would actually get that one and move out of the state. Bad news for him but good news for me, they didn't want him. Phew!!
Monday is my birthday and today was the day we celebrated as a family. I admit I had a lot of fun, although I always lose when we play a family game (this time being no exception). I will admit to having some serious brother envy though. I'm so used to him being here all the time that it's weird when he's gone every night with his girlfriend. Sigh, guess I'll just have to make some other friends (Yay Celeste!!). I'm excited for my birthday this year, which is strange. It's not like anything all that exciting is happening since I'm just turning nineteen, but for some reason I've been looking forward to it for weeks. Maybe it's because I have nothing else to do that I'm so excited about this. Who knows? Haha :P
I've been trying to be a good girl the past few days and actually get up at a decent time (decent meaning before 12:00). Except for Tuesday, I've actually done pretty well this week. This morning I even got up at 6:00!! That's a big deal for me! Of course I HAD to get up because I had rehearsal, but that's besides the point. It's so much easier to motivate myself to get out of bed when I actually have something worthwhile to do during the day.
Rehearsals have been fun and have given me something to do lately, thank heavens. The rehearsals are for the play Beauty and the Beast at Murray Community Arts in the Park. We start performances next Wednesday and I'm pretty excited about it, not gonna lie. We've all been worried about the run since it's been raining pretty much constantly for the last two weeks, but our director told us that if worst comes to worst we'll just trot on over to Murray High with some set pieces and make do. That's better than cancelling and that's all I was really worried about. The show is pretty stress free for me right now. It's funny because I auditioned for this play on a whim at the last minute and now it's turned into one of the funnest things I've ever done. Ok, maybe not EVER, but it's definitely up there. I'm just really glad that I did it and really greatful that I got in. I've made so many great friends and it's helped me on my quest to be able to do things on my own!!
I have a huge problem with going places without someone else with me. Kind of like how girls can't go to the bathroom without a buddy, I feel like I can't go anywhere without one. I'm always worried about not knowing what to do and just standing around like a tardo or getting lost, but recently I've been forcing myself to do things alone and it's fortunately been turning out very well. It almost makes me wish I'd started doing it before, haha, but not quite. I know this is a silly thing to be so glad about, but I've always felt uncomfortable. It's a nice feeling to start getting over something that's been a problem for years.
Ok, well enough rambling. I'll finish here and leave it for a while again. I'm planning on cutting my hair pretty short after the play is over, and possibly adding some highlights and streaks just for kicks and giggles. I've never done anything with my hair and I figure it'll be fun to try it just once. Plus, my hair grows fast enough that if it looks horrible I won't have to worry about it for long! So anyways, I'll let you know how that turns out!

Open Book

Wordle: Love Today


So to steal this idea from Celeste, this is my Wordle. It's not nearly as cool as hers, but it's still interesting to see. The idea is that it takes the words you use more often and makes them bigger, so apparently I talked a lot about concerts NOW!! Hahaha. I'll make sure that the next time I post a blog, it'll have a little more variety. :P

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Blimey!


So in the spirit of my last post (Which I made about 5 minutes ago....) I would just like to mention my undying, totally teenage-girl LOVE for The Dr.  - What I wouldn't GIVE to be Rose Tyler!!  Sigh.....  I found out that they actually sell life size cardboard cut-outs of the Tardis.  I most definitely want one right now!  I was giggling like a silly little girl for about 20 minutes after I found out.  Oh man.  Talk about truly genius cinema.  The british know what's going on.



So you really must forgive my complete obsession with Dr. Who. I've never heard this song before, but after a short search around Youtube (which is the bomb.com), I found it and I've gotta say that it makes me just plain giddy. Boo-friggin-YA!

Don't Hassle the Hoff


This has been my favorite music video for a LONG time.  I've never quite been able to decide what my favorite part is.  Is it the dancing disco bear?  The fish in mouth?  The temper tantrum in the air or the flying motorcycle?  The bouncing alien?  The slightly pedofilic insinuations with little girl angels?  The clone Hoff that flies behind himself and grabs his own butt?  Ya, I think it's that one.  I hope you all enjoy this as much as I always have.  I think I'm in love.  Bahahaha!!!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Tornado Lessons

School is over next week!  Just one hectic week of driving between Murray and Provo, rehearsals, moving all my stuff home, cleaning the apartment, and taking finals!  Then I'm free!!  Ah, it's such a wonderful....hopeful feeling.  :D
I woke up this morning feeling mildly anxious.  I procrastinate, a lot, and so right now my brain's a little like, holy crap, I have to finish everything real quick!  Whoops!  Hahaha, it's a problem sometimes.  So ya, the problem this morning was when I woke up thinking about the two tests I have to take this weekend, along with the fact that I have to attend two concerts this week for my music 101 class (week meaning before monday), one piano recital/performance for my piano class (not sure when this has to be done), and one show with tapping in it for, surprise, my tap class.  I was worried because I had no idea where I was gonna find two concerts this weekend, but to my relief during my break between classes I realized that I had been looking at the wrong date on the byu performances calendar.  Instead of there being absolutely no performances tomorrow, there are a million!  I was apparently looking at last week.  So moral of the story is that now I have two performances I can go to tomorrow.  Now I just need to find some tap and piano performance.  Any ideas?  Haha
But ya, finding those two concerts really took off a lot of pressure and annoyance from my brain. :P  I was kicking myself for saving them all for this weekend.  In my defense, I already did six of the concerts.  I actually had time to do all of them a long, long time ago, but hey, what am I gonna do about it now?  Exactly.  
Another thing that happened today, which was amazing, was the answer to an unspoken prayer.  :D  I had been hoping for something, but afraid to outright pray for it because it seemed stupid and all that jazz, but it totally worked out anyways!  I love it when that happens.  It makes me so grateful.  
So now the only thing I really have to worry about at the moment is driving back to Provo tomorrow.  I mean, driving here isn't the problem.  The problem is rationalizing having to make the extra trip to my parents.  Maybe we'll just keep this one a secret (shhh!).  I'm going back to Murray tonight, after I babysit my cousins, because I have rehearsal tomorrow morning.  Then I need to be in Provo for the concerts (at 2 and 7) and to take my two tests.  I guess it kind of works out well.  I was wondering how I was going to fit these tests in without coming back on Saturday, and now I don't really have a choice.  I bought a ticket to the concert at 7 tomorrow, so now I don't really have a choice of whether or not I should go.  I paid, so I'll be there.  Plus, it's kind of my last chance to go to a concert before the assignment's due....haha.
So basically, this is my unnecessary information from today that I felt the strange urge to share with ya'll.  Aren't you feeling pretty darn special right about now?  Good.  You should.  You should all also go check out Adam's website.  He's been posting little comics every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  Some are really funny, some are a little goofy, and some are just plain weird.  But hey, that's Adam, so what do you really expect?  It's worth it though, you should go look. 


And ya, everybody wish me luck on my tests, and with getting myself out of bed on time tomorrow morning.  Also, if anyone happens to randomly know of any piano recitals or concerts in the next few days, by all means let me know.  Or any showings of like, Thoroughly Modern Millie or Singin' In The Rain or something.  I doubt it, but I figured I'd check. 

Have a great weekend everyone!  :D

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Short Trip Home

So I'm kind of sort of stealing Stacey's idea of having a song of the moment, but this is rather a song of the last million moments, if that makes any sense.  I've heard this song a lot lately and it's been stuck in my head.  I just think that it has some very interesting lyrics.  It's kind of cool to just listen to the lyrics rather than the song.  Anyways, I put it up here for your entertainment.  :D  I don't know how to add a song to my blog, otherwise I'd put it up for you to hear it too.  

The Story Of The Grandson Of Jesus

Today is a good day to flex the muscles of the weary.
A miracle's a miracle even when it's ordinary.
We will walk on the water even though it seems scary
If someone will show us the way.

I shook hands with the man who honestly thinks he's
The grandson of Jesus with a penchant for pinchies.
He served us communion of cola and twinkies
Guess everyone has their own view.

He stood on his soapbox and told us a parable
Of a man with eye-glasses so small they're unwearable,
And the moral of the story is that all looks terrible
Depending on what you look through, what you look through.

He said, "Do unto yourself as you do unto your neighbor.
It's not an eye for an eye, it's a favor for a favor.
And it's okay if this world had a billion saviors
Cause there's so many things to be saved."

Take my words with a boulder of salt
Or blame it on your devil, always the scape-goat's fault.
We all point fingers when it comes to a halt.
Will somebody show show us the way?

Show us the way......

Monday, March 30, 2009

A Miracle's a Miracle Even When It's Ordinary

So you know how you often have those random periods of enlightenment in your life where you find out that you really don't know anything?  Maybe that's just me, but I've definitely been having one for a while now.  It's so weird.  I'm not saying that I know a lot, but I got to a point where I couldn't reasonably accept the fact that the human brain could hold so much information consciously at one time.  That sounds really weird, but hopefully I'll be able to make a little more sense.
I always feel like when I learn something new, I forget something else.  Like I can only hold so much information before my brain starts recycling.  Like I know all I can know at this moment. I know thatmight sound completely retarded, but what are you gonna do, right?  Haha.
It's just funny to see how much my perspectives on so many things have been changed since I moved out and started going to college.  I mean, I go home ALL the time, so it's not like a huge change or anything, but still, I've been somewhere that's not Murray or Clayton for the last 8 months.  It's interesting to see what things are different.  What things matter to people that I never thought about before.  Things that I accepted as normal, but really were only normal where I had grown up.  
I expect a cultural leap when I go to a different state or country, but it's just so strange to me to have one just 40 minutes from my home.  There's people here at BYU from so many different states and cultures, and it's amazing to see them all come together and be a part of it in my own unusual way.  If I try to look past the creepy things I dislike about Provo, it's actually pretty amazing.  (This is for all the people I made feel nervous about coming to BYU :P)  BYU is the 2nd most desired school to get into in the whole US.  People try so hard and put so much effort into getting accepted.  They work to get scholarships and move so far away from home, just for this opportunity.  And here I am wanting more than anything to get out.  It makes me feel a little strange.  
I feel a little ungrateful.  I'm very grateful for the scholarship that I got, and for the opportunity to come to BYU, but the fact that I didn't really work that hard for it makes me feel weird.  I mean, I didn't work any harder than usual, so maybe I'm just used to it, but I don't know.
One of my new favorite quotes is one that I pass every time I come back to Provo from Murray.  It's flashed up along with a few others on the sign at Thanksgiving Pointe.  It says, "Only a mediocre person is always at his best."  The first few times I read it I didn't really think about it, but one time as I was driving past it, it just made sense.  I had been sitting there thinking about how I feel like such a slacker because I feel like I haven't had to work for many of the opportunities that I've been given in my life, and because of that, I always feel so guilty and unworthy when I don't do perfectly.  
There are so many of these things, like being in Synergy, getting to go to RYLA, getting into BYU with a scholarship, etc.  I feel like I'm an ungrateful person for not being at my best.  That quote made me feel so much better because it just reminded me of the fact that everything is a process, and only a mediocre person is at their best.  If I was perfect, what fun would there be?  There'd be no more to learn, there'd be nothing to work for, and nothing to overcome.
My brother was talking about how he liked pain.  I joked and called him a freaky masochist, but I knew what he meant.  He didn't mean that he enjoyed being hurt, what he meant was that he enjoyed being able to overcome something like that.  Being able to trip and fall on your face and stand up with a black eye and just laugh it off.  To prove that you're more powerful than the physical.  I like that so much.  We can overcome something so simple.
I know I may not be making sense or connecting in the way I mean to, but as I always say, I'm writing this mostly for my own benefit, and if someone else gets something out of it, GREAT!!  :D  If not, whatever, just don't hate me because it's long, hahaha.
But anyways, these two things go together so well for me right now.  I have to overcome my insecurities about not being perfect, and stop second guessing myself.  Yesterday in church there were two things that really stood out to me.  One was when the bishop was answering questions (Not to copy you or anything Stace, I promise it's something different!), and I can't remember the exact question he was answering, but he was talking about how impossible perfection is.  I admit, I was only half listening because I'm a dork, but some part of me picked up the parts I needed to hear.  It's okay to be imperfect, as long as we're trying our hardest.  The other thing was one of the girls who was bearing her testimony (I think it was Jae Dansie) and she mentioned that she had faith in the little things, like praying to find your keys, but had a harder time when it came to the bigger things.  
I don't have that exact problem, but it seemed somewhat similar to me still.  I've had a lot of time to think in my car (the best place because no one's there to distract me!!) and I've been thinking about faith.  I have faith, I've always had faith, but my biggest problem is that while I have undoubting faith in God, I doubt people, mostly myself.  Kind of like how people can have the faith TO heal, but the people also need the faith to BE healed.  I don't doubt when I hear or see miracles, like a story my uncle told before he died about a dream he had.  I won't share that, because I don't know if it's too personal to my family, but it's one of the big faith things that I have never doubted.  But there are things like being healed, or receiving answers to prayers, where I just don't have enough faith in myself.  It's like I'm saying to myself, why should I deserve this?  Why would God help me with this when he doesn't have to?  I mean, I know the answers, I've been taught them my entire life, but for some reason I'm just having trouble with it.  And it's like, I can prayer for faith that my prayers are answered, and I receive that with the little things, like I pray to be able to help someone, and I do.  Or I pray to know what to do, and I know.  But there are some things that I think, I can't pray about this until I'm more worthy of God's help.  I hate thinking that way, because how do I become worthy of his help without his help?  It's a stupid paradox that I've set up in my brain and can't seem to get rid of.
That's why I've been so grateful to be able to come back to Murray and be with my friends who are so faithful in that way in particular.  I hear stories from them that I'm sure they don't realize I think about so much, but they help me in such unexpected ways.  Like I told Stacey with the movies and how desensitized I had become.  She off-handedly mentioned something about how uncomfortable a particular scene had made her and I had to seriously think for a long time about what scene she had possibly been talking about.  When I finally realized which one she meant, I felt a little guilty, haha.  I had thought it was pretty tame, but I was COMPARING it to other movies.  Bad idea.  If I rationalize which movies I watch by comparing them to each other, what good is that going to do me since ALL of the movies are getting worse?  I need to pick a line that doesn't move even if the rating system does.
It's little things like that which make me really realize the things I need to be focusing on and the things that will help me.  Thanks friends :D  Haha, you're the best.  
Another one of my favorites is when Jon was saying the prayer before a performance for Synergy and he said, instead of the all too common "please bless us to perform to the best of our abilities," he snuck in "please bless us to perform to the best of thy ability."  I wasn't sure if  I had heard correctly or if he had done it on purpose until I asked him later (yes to both), but it struck me really hard all of a sudden at that performance.  Tying in the rest of my rant, I'm not using my own ability for anything, I'm using God's ability.  Or rather, he's letting me.  It's through him and the spirit that I have a brain in the first place (yes, I'm pretty sure it's there) and can hold so much more information than I can possibly fathom right now.  It's because of him that I can have the opportunity to work my way through my own problems, and even if I feel unworthy or lacking even if I'm working hard, it just means that I'm progressing.  It's through him that I have great friends that can help me realize my own faith and help me keep my own standards.  In short, I LOVE LIVING!!!  Even if it's scary sometimes :D
Woot.  I swear one of these days I'm gonna scare you all off with how longwinded I am, but whatever.  Deal with it.  Buahahahaha!!!!  Much love!

Friday, March 27, 2009

Daaaaaaaa DAAAAaaaaa DAAAAAAAAAAAaaa DADA (dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum)..........

So I would like to just take a second to talk about my rotten luck today.  Well, not necessarily today, but right now.  So in my astronomy class my teacher mentioned how we have our projects due in a couple weeks.  One of the girls in my class wanted to do them together, which I was more than happy to agree to.  So we decided last second that we would come tonight to use the telescope.
Unfortunately, the telescope and observation deck are only open from 8-10 tonight, and my last class ended at 4:30.  So I sat around for 3 1/2 hours, getting some things accomplished and watching Dr. Who (hahaha).  I was feeling pretty good until I got here and she wasn't here.  I'm a little worried that she won't make it because her facebook status says that she just got sick to her stomach, again, about an hour ago.  This is NOT a good sign.  And it's not like there's any way she can really let me know since we don't have each other's phone numbers or anything.
And if she doesn't show up, then I'm gonna be way too chicken to go do them by myself, and this will have all been just a fun little chill on campus......right.
AND to top it all off, my computer's about to die.  So even if she were to facebook me to let me know she isn't going to make it, I probably won't know until I'm home anyways because my computer will be DEAD. 
LAME

.......so needless to say, I hope she makes it :D

Friday, March 20, 2009

Love, Love Changes Everything

WARNING:  This post contains annoying discussions about things that bug the crap out of me, so if you don't want to be annoyed, don't read it.  You've been warned.  :D
I just have to express my.....current frustration with some people.  Some people are so over worried about things that I personally don't think matter very much.  It's upsetting.  I mean, I hate getting into discussions that are controversial and are going to make people upset, but I'm seriously just sick of sitting around and listening to people say things that I think are so misguided.  
Some people wonder, for instance, why people are so worried about things like language when there are other things like death and torture going on in the world.  Now Mark, chill.  I want to give you my opinion on this and I know you're the one that's gonna get all uppity about the next couple paragraphs :P.  I'm worried about language because language expresses how we feel.  If I swear, that means that I don't respect who I'm talking to/about.  It means that I'm trying to hurt them.  I feel like a lot of problems are started by people who can't control their language.  Also, many people are worried about those other things just as much, but what are they going to do about it?  We have what we have and nothing is going to change that.  We do what we can, but we shouldn't let other things bother us unduly.  
Yes, people are concerned about animals dying and being tortured, and while I am as well, I don't feel like that is such a pressing issue as people make it out to be (sorry).  I honestly feel that the biggest problem is the attitude that people have when they do things like that.  There are people who torture animals because they think it's fun.  That's wrong, I agree.  Those people should be smacked upside the head.  However, all death causes pain, and while I may be disgusted by the way animals are treated in slaughter houses and such, I'm not going to stop eating them.  Protein is important, and without killing animals to eat, the human race wouldn't be here.  Sorry, but it's the truth.  We're not rabbits, so......
People are concerned that we're not doing our part.  Grow up.  Just because we don't flaunt the things we do, doesn't mean we don't care.  We don't always have to stand up and fight for peace.  Sometimes living peacefully is enough.  Sometimes quietly helping without condemning people is the best thing we can do.  I know that I'm being a little hypocritical right now because I'm sitting here ranting, but I'm sorry.  Get over it :P.  
There are things that need our support, and while they may not be perfect, they are still good.  Like the government.  In reality, in truth, we're not going to change the government to the way we want it to run.  Along the lines of Winston Churchhill, democracy SUCKS but it's the best we have.  I personally think that our government would be better with a parliament and universal healthcare, but I still support the government that we have right now.  Even if prop. 8 hadn't passed, I would still support the government.  Until the government goes completely corrupt and takes away the freedoms that I feel are owed to us as citizens, I'm going to support it, no matter how much I might disagree with it.  People who call themselves patriotic and then rebel against the government, misinterpret things, and try to persuade others to rebel with them-those people are NOT Americans!  Sure, there are times when petitions and demonstrations are necessary and good, but I think people get carried away.
The job of the government isn't to please YOU.  The job of the government is to protect the rights of as many of its citizens as it can at one time.  It's impossible to please people who want completely opposite things.  Somebody's going to be upset everytime the government does something, and everybody's going to be upset by the government at some time or another, some more than others.  
Alright, now I know this is annoying and exactly what I said I hate, but I couldn't help it.  I have so many things that I want to say to people, but I don't want to argue.  I want to get my feelings across in a good way, but I'm too impatient to do that sometimes.  That is obviously something I need to work on, but in the meantime, you get this :P.  
The moral of my story is that people do care.  People as a whole will generally tend to make righteous decisions, and when I say righteous I'm not trying to push religion or anything.  I just mean good, healthy decisions.  Well, I guess I am trying to push religion a little, but whatever..... :P.  Haha.  We can only be happy if we want to be.  If we try to take on the burdens of the entire world, we aren't going to be able to help anybody.  We have to help ourselves first, and then help others by means that are possible for us while still maintaining our own happiness.  Once I'm happy, it's easier to help others.  I'm not going to go out of my way to do service when I'm angry at the world, or when I'm sick or unhappy.  Sorry, I know this isn't how it should be, but it's how it is.  I do service and help others when I am happy and my life is in order.  Also, we can't take all the problems of the world on ourselves because that will just make us depressed and make us pity those who are less fortunate than us.  I think one of the most offensive things people can give is pity.  People don't need our pity.  They don't want our pity.  Sometimes people want our silent help.  If we make a big deal of their problems, it is quite possible that more damage is being done than help.  People are proud, and our pity is annoying.
Alright, I'll stop now, for your sakes.  Rant done.  End.  :D 

Friday, March 13, 2009

So You Say You Want A Revolution

So I've been having dreams lately that I wouldn't quite classify as nightmares, but to me they're just as bad.  I've never really had many dreams.  I usually have them when I'm sick or really busy or something, but only really ever at home.  Maybe that's why I'm having weird dreams now....because I'm NOT living at home.  Hmmmm....
My whole life all my dreams have been like, well, video games or movies.  I dream about what I watched on tv that day, or I have strange dreams where I have to stay out of the line of sight of the purple gorillas or I'll get smacked with their clubs.  Whatever.  They've never really been anything all that cool or unusual.  I've had the purple gorilla dream more than once, and there's only ever been one other dream that I've had twice.  That one's my favorite to think about.  Heehee.
This dream was the most unusual because, like I said, I had it more than once.  The unusual part, though, was that the second time I knew what was going to happen.  I kept saying, I've had this dream before, but for some reason it was all still real.  I had to STOP what was happening.  If it's a dream, why should I care.  I distinctly remember knowing it was a dream.  It was a funny dream.  The Joker from Batman, old school Batman of course (the new one wasn't out then :D), was disguised as a girl for some reason, and going out with my brother.  The second time, I KNEW it was the Joker and I tried to tell him, but he just wouldn't listen.  He was under some kind of influence, because he was being a total jerk, which is very unlike him in any situation.  Well, I can't say if the dream ever really ended, but the last thing I remember both times was the Joker's head in the clouds above me yelling at me and telling me to stop trying to ruin all his plans, blah, blah, blah.  I'm sure the dream was a little scarier when I was younger, but everytime I remember it I can't help but laughing.
My dreams the past few months, though, have been very strange.  Especially the last couple weeks.  They're not nightmares by any stretch.  I've only ever had one nightmare that I can remember, and that one was when I was on Tylenol.  Apparently I'm allergic and it makes me hallucinate.  Fun!  Hahaha.....
Anyways, the dreams have been a little disconcerting and comforting at the same time.  They're not random, they're about things that I've been talking to people about or thinking about a lot lately, but I don't like seeing them visualized.  It's one thing to think about something and another thing to experience it.  Again.  I'm good with not having these things EVER happen in real life.  I'm not one for all the phsyciological crap, but apparently something's worrying me.  The fact that these dreams have just been lately makes me think it's my moving to Provo.
Not that there's anything wrong with moving out.  I'm not all homesick and whiney, well, maybe a little, but I really just don't like being in Provo.  Nothing wrong with BYU, just Provo.  The people are just....very different.  I have a personality that does NOT fit with BYU.  While BYU may be the better school for the things I want to do, I don't think that I can ever stay here.  I'm switching to the U next semester, much to my relief, and I'm really glad.  I've met people who go to the U, and it's a lot more laid back than it is here in Happy Valley.  Especially compared to where I live.  The people at the Branbury, while nice, definitely have a little issue with pride.  Not like I'm the most humble person in the world, but seriously!  These people are just kind of condescending sometimes.  Again, I admit, I'm also condescending, but I like to think that I'm not this bad.  I just feel downright uncomfortable around a lot of the people here.  Some people I've met are amazing, and I've become friends with them really quickly.  The thing that makes me laugh is that I have found out, in most cases, that those people are also desperate to get out of here.  I'm glad I'm not the only one like me.  
I'm so excited to move back this summer.  I'm going to get a job, which will be new for me, but hopefully good.  Also, Clayton (my dance studio) is doing a show this October that I will hopefully get to be in.  I would probably cry if I wasn't.  I'm so excited about that because I've been looking forward to doing Synergy (the college age group) since last September.  I would have to wait an entire year still, but now I have something to look forward to in less than half of one.  It's a comforting thought.  
Well, I guess all in all, I'm a little perturbed by my dreams, but hopefully once everything is back to the way I feel it should be, they won't bother me as much anymore.  I hope that once I'm out of Provo the dreams will stop.  It's all fine and dandy to have a bad dream, but now I'm thinking about them all day and that's not distracting AT ALL........
I'm over it!  :D

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

You can't fly if you don't JUMP

Holy crap!  After posting this I realized how OBSCENELY LONG it is!  Gosh!  Seriously, I won't feel bad if no one reads it.  I'm sure you all have things to do.  I wrote this whole thing for my own benefit, so really, don't feel bad.  It's really, really, really long.  Good grief......

I've been having this really annoying feeling of panic lately, and I'm not sure how to make it go away.  It's a funny feeling for me.  I've never felt overworried or stressed about anything that I can remember.  Things don't bug me very much, and if they do, not for very long.  Like tests.  I don't usually worry about tests until the day before or the day of.  I figure, what's the point of worrying myself all the time about them and just making myself tired and anxious?  Why worry about things I can't change.  I'd rather worry about things I can change and then do something about it.  Then I can stop worrying about THAT.  :D  If that wasn't confusing enough.....hahaha.
I decided, however, that this feeling of panic is NOT stress.  It's more like anxiety.  I know we all live for a pretty decent amount of time, but there's so many things to do during that time.  There's a million things I want to do that I probably won't be able to once I'm married, A) because we won't have the money; B) because we won't have the time and won't be able to take work off; and C) because I might have kids.  Don't get me wrong, I definitely want to get married and have kids.  Hence the feeling of panic.  How am I going to get all of these things done that I want to do before I get married and start having a life?  I wanna be selfish for a while.  I understand that I'll be able to do some of these things later in life when my kids are grown up and have moved out and all that jazz, but I feel like I won't be able to do all of them in time.  Or maybe I won't be able to because I'll be an old cripple with memory loss, hahaha.
There's also things that I want to do that I would HAVE to do before getting married.  I want to spend a semester working at Disneyland or Disneyworld as an entertainer.  I want to live in a foreign country for a while.  I want to backpack across Europe and listen to the throat singing monks in Tibet :D  I want to get my skydiving license, and I'm not sure if I feel right about skydiving when I have young kids.  I still haven't decided that because while it's not a huge risk, it's still a risk.  I don't want to be overlystupid.  Plus, it'll make our insurance cost more.
When I was car shopping with my dad a couple years ago, we met this guy named John Johnson (Poor guy, I know) at Wendy's.  My dad knew him from work somehow, I'm not sure.  They never worked together, but they knew each other well enough that we all sat down and talked while we ate.  That guy was really amazing.  He had been an EMT and a teacher, he was a licensed scuba diver and all kinds of other crazy things.  I want to be like that.  I don't necessarily want to be an EMT and work in an ambulance my whole life, but I'd love knowing that I could save someone's life if I was in that situation.  I would love doing that for a while.  Not forever, but a while.  I want to be versatile and be able to have fun.
My dad always jokes around with us (his kids) about taking over his position in his business when he's done.  I actually wouldn't mind doing that, but by no means would I want that to be the only thing I did.  Maybe I could be like this John Johnson character and just work as a financial planner part time.  Be a fun enough person that a few really big clients would just seek me out and want me as their planner because I'm successful AND ridiculously cool.  (Hahaha, I'm saying most of this for fun, but seriously :P)
I want to take classes in genetics and learn how to make a glow in the dark fish that I could keep in a tank :D  It's possible, I checked.  There're fish that have a glowy gene that are too big or expensive or whatever to put in a normal tank, but if I could extract the gene and put it into something else, like a shark fish or an electric fish (those would probably be easier since they already have a glowy stripe), then maybe I could have a glow in the dark fish!  Hahaha
I want to learn how to shoot a gun and get a permit to carry one.  Not that I ever would, but I'd like knowing that I could if I wanted to.  And be able to hit what I'm aiming for.
I always joke around how I want to be a ninja, and while I'm totally teasing, I want to learn (or at least attempt to learn) some form of martial arts.  Enough that I could fully kick someone's butt if I needed to and I didn't happen to be carrying my gun :P
I want to get a license to scuba dive, despite the fact that I'm scared of water.  Part of this is because I want to get over being scared of water, but another part is because while I'm terrified of being eaten, I've always been fascinated by underwater creatures.  They're just so darn cool.
I want to get a license to skydive, and be able to take other people with me.  I figure that I could get a lot of my friends, who are too scared to go right now, to go if I was jumping tandem with them.  There's something to be said for safety when they know me and they know that I wouldn't put my own life in reckless danger.  If they were strapped onto me, then I would die when they did.  I'd be their garuantee.  :D  And I think it'd be hilarious to watch all of my friend's terrified faces.  Muahaha
I want to be in a movie or a tv series.  Not a big part, although that would obviously be the most fun.  I just want to be able to sit on my couch and point to the tv and say, HEY, THAT'S ME!!  It doesn't even have to be a show that anybody watches.  In fact, I'd prefer being on something like Stargate or Dr. Who.  One of those nerdy shows that I'm obsessed with and can quote and no one else knows what I'm talking about.  Hahaha
I want to record a song.  I don't care if I'm the one singing the main part or if I'm the backup singer to someone else.  I just want to be in a recording studio with the earphones and the mic with the little filter screen in front of it.  That's be awesome.  I really want it to be a song that's played during the credits of a movie.  Don't particularly care about the movie either, but preferably one that people I know could actually see.  So....pixar it is?  Haha
I want to be able to speak multiple languages.  I want to learn more languages than I'm sure my brain can possibly hold, but that's not gonna stop me from trying :P  I think it'd just be practical to learn Spanish, German, Chinese, and maybe French (blah), but I'd also like to learn Japanese, maybe Zulu, Klingon, just to uphold my nerd image and not lose myself (hahaha.....), and a million others.  I want to learn Italian because of music.  There are so many cool things about the english language that come from Italian.  I want to learn Hebrew so I can read the scriptures without them being translated.  I think that'd just be plain cool.  Heck, I just wanna be Daniel Jackson.  He knew, what, like 26 languages?  AND he got to go through the Stargate.  Plus, he was always the one the freaky aliens picked on.  Did anybody else ever notice that?  I thought it was funny.  Anyways.....
I want to write a song.  I think it'd be cool if I recorded the song that I wrote and it was in a movie.  That'd just kill flocks of birds with one stone.  Hahaha
I want to be in a disney movie.  Call me cheesy, but whatever.  I really want to be the voice of an animated character, so if I was the voice of a disney movie character, that'd be just fine with me.  As long as the movie was any good.
I want to befriend someone who's accomplished a lot in their life and hardly anyone knows about it.  Like some old person that doesn't have any family or anyone to be around.  Then I could feel like I did something good, while making an amazing new friend.  I love learning things about people that not a lot of people know.  It tells so much about a person.  The things they do without telling anyone.  
I really, really, really want to be in a show on Broadway.  Not one that's already famous like Wicked or Hairspray.  The problem with those, while they're amazing and I love them, is that people have the soundtracks memorized.  Thus, I would either have to sing it exactly like the original cast recording, or people would look at me and be like, HEY!  That's wrong!  She's singing it wrong!  Why didn't anyone tell her??  That would just be a major bummer, because everyone would always be comparing me to that soundtrack and I'd never be recognized for myself.  I want to be in a show that does reasonably well, but that not a lot of people have heard of or seen.  Preferably something that hasn't been made into a movie yet.  Speaking of which, do you think they're gonna make a movie for Wicked?  I'm surprised they haven't yet.  Maybe they're waiting for it's popularity on Broadway to die down a little bit more.  Heck, for all I know they could already be making a movie of it and I just don't know about it.
Now do you understand my problem and panic a little bit more?  I mean, if you bothered reading all the way down to here?  Hahaha.  I want to do these things, but where am I gonna find the time?  Where am I gonna find the money?  If I do get married before doing all these, where am I gonna find a guy who will do the rest of them with me?  Seriously, this is a dilemma.  (I always thought dilemma was spelled dilemnia.  Is that a word too?  That's always bothered me a lot).  There are other things that I can do while I have a husband and kids.  Some of those things above I can still do with a family, but with most of them, I'd prefer not to.  I don't want to be a mom who's never home and always has to find a babysitter for my kids.  I want to be a stay at home mom.  I have always wanted to write a book, and I still do.  I could definitely do that with a family.  All I need for that is a computer.  Heck, if I was really desperate I wouldn't even need that, although I think I'd kill myself if I had to write the entire thing out by hand......ehh......  I mean, this is something I could do at midnight, in my pajamas.  I could do it while my kids are asleep.  There's not a schedule.  I love things like this because there's no time limit, but for the other things, there is.  It would probably be weird to have a 60 year old woman entertaining onstage at Disney, ya?  And I probably won't be able to sing nearly as well when I'm older.  It would be weird to have someone in a Broadway show who has to walk around with a cane.  I mean, there're exceptions, but still.  You see my problem?  It's ridden with panic!
I've also always thought about going on a mission.  I don't feel like that's something I should do now, when I'm 21, but I definitely want to go sometime in my life.  Luckily, couple missionaries don't go on missions until all their kids are grown and they're retired, or at least close.  
I know a lot, in fact, possibly all of these things are on my list of 100 things I want to do, but here you just get to here some of them in a little more detail.  Also, I know that this whole thing sounds totally corny and impossible, but I really think that I could do every single one of these if I tried hard enough.  The only problem is getting myself to try hard enough.  It will take a LOT of time to learn so many languages, and a lot of these things would require moving away from home for different amounts of time.  Plus, they would all cost a motherload!  But I still feel like I could do them.  I really do.  And I really want to.  I don't wanna be a sheep!
Oh goody, there's a million kids walking past me in a much too small hallway.  I hate that.  They all smell nasty.  I like kids, but not flocks of them that I don't know.  They're all trying to impress each other and be dorks.  Bleh.  I mean, I like the little kids at Clayton.  But there's always those few who you just wanna.......I could never teach elementary school students.  I'd have to be one of those dorky high school teachers.  I would be tons of fun though, don't you doubt it.  Can anyone say frooties??  Heck yes, guess what!?!?  They TOTALLY sell frooties at Maceys!  Who knew?  I've only ever found them at this party store in Lehi and online.  I was pretty sure those were the only places they sold them.  Maybe the popularity of them won out and now they're selling them in more places?  That would just make me so freaking happy.  I hope it's the same at the Maceys back in Murray.  I hope this isn't just a Provo thing.  Otherwise I'm gonna have to stock up major time.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

In a land called Honalee

So my friend and I have been joking recently about my Halloween costume in first grade.  I dressed up as a dinosaur, and I have to say that the costume was pretty freakin sweet.  It made me upset though, because everyone was under the misconception that I was Puff the Magic Dragon.  Who was this Puff fellow anyways I wondered?  I had never heard of him, and I was really quite annoyed that everyone was mistaking me for him!  I was a DINOSAUR, thank you very much....
Anyways, my friend and I were reminiscing about this just the other day and she laughed because I still had no idea who Puff was.  I thought I did, but apparently I was confused with Pete's Dragon.  So many Dragons, so little time....But I have just been shown the error of my ways.  She showed me the video with the song about Puff the Magic Dragon (Just a song, who knew?  I thought it was a movie or something.)
It's a really melancholy song.  I liked it, but it left me feeling a little lonely.  Here it starts out as this fun upbeat song about imagination and fantasy, but ends up with Puff being left all alone for eternity.  His friend that he had grown up with, who was a human, had died.  Puff was immortal and from then on lived by himself in a cave.  Who writes songs like these?  I don't know why it was so sad to me, but whatever.  Here's the link for it too, so you can all watch it and feel sad like I did.  Hahaha.



Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Devil's Dance Floor

So I am most definitely putting off doing my homework right now.  I have nothing particularly interesting to talk about right now, but I just have to share how brilliantly terrible I was at teaching today.  This little mishap took place in my Book of Mormon class at BYU.  In this class, my teacher has each of us teach one lesson, and today was my turn.  Unfortunately.
Anyways, I had read through the material and had a pretty good idea of what I wanted to say, but when it came time to do it, I went INSANE!  Seriously!!  I couldn't remember what the heck I was talking about or what the heck I had planned.  Everything I said was out of order and nothing I said made any sense.  The TA was kind enough to help me out by being my translator.  Haha....
It was one of those situations where I could tell that everyone else in the class (all five of them) felt bad for me and were getting nervous for me as well.  They were all squirming and it kind of made me want to laugh.  I'm more of a people observer, so having to be the one in charge and not being able to allow myself to get distracted by them is very difficult for me.
Actually, that's not the difficult part.  The difficult part is doing that while still trying to make sense.  That's something that I struggle with anyways.  In retrospect, I see now that this is something I need to practice.  Apparently I don't speak in public much.  My bad.
It's ironic that I had such a hard time today.  I've taught classes before, and I've performed in front of thousands of people for years.  It's not like I was nervous.  I just couldn't think of anything good to say, or a good way to say it.  Blah.  It's something that's never happened to me before.  I felt like I was a little kid who just got up to bear my testimony and froze, then had to have my mom run up and whisper in my ear.  The only problem was that there was no one whispering in my ear today.  Just the whisper of nothing being said as we all sat there awkwardly while I tried to figure out what to talk about next.
I laughed about it, and everyone took it well.  It wasn't embarrassing or anything, just a little...disappointing I guess.  I'll get over it soon enough.  This was just an example to me that I need to practice speaking in public a little more often.  I can write a talk and have it make perfect sense.  It can be as long as I want it to and it will still flow well.  Speaking out loud though, I tend to speak more in a stream of consciousness.  I think of things, and start saying them, but then I start thinking about what I should say next and forget what I'm saying now.  It's kind of strange, but I'll work on it.
One day you will all be impressed by my mad improvisational speaking skills.  Less by the skills and more by the consistency.  Or maybe it'll just be me who's impressed, but that's just fine with me.  Any suggestions?