Anyways, I had read through the material and had a pretty good idea of what I wanted to say, but when it came time to do it, I went INSANE! Seriously!! I couldn't remember what the heck I was talking about or what the heck I had planned. Everything I said was out of order and nothing I said made any sense. The TA was kind enough to help me out by being my translator. Haha....
It was one of those situations where I could tell that everyone else in the class (all five of them) felt bad for me and were getting nervous for me as well. They were all squirming and it kind of made me want to laugh. I'm more of a people observer, so having to be the one in charge and not being able to allow myself to get distracted by them is very difficult for me.
Actually, that's not the difficult part. The difficult part is doing that while still trying to make sense. That's something that I struggle with anyways. In retrospect, I see now that this is something I need to practice. Apparently I don't speak in public much. My bad.
It's ironic that I had such a hard time today. I've taught classes before, and I've performed in front of thousands of people for years. It's not like I was nervous. I just couldn't think of anything good to say, or a good way to say it. Blah. It's something that's never happened to me before. I felt like I was a little kid who just got up to bear my testimony and froze, then had to have my mom run up and whisper in my ear. The only problem was that there was no one whispering in my ear today. Just the whisper of nothing being said as we all sat there awkwardly while I tried to figure out what to talk about next.
I laughed about it, and everyone took it well. It wasn't embarrassing or anything, just a little...disappointing I guess. I'll get over it soon enough. This was just an example to me that I need to practice speaking in public a little more often. I can write a talk and have it make perfect sense. It can be as long as I want it to and it will still flow well. Speaking out loud though, I tend to speak more in a stream of consciousness. I think of things, and start saying them, but then I start thinking about what I should say next and forget what I'm saying now. It's kind of strange, but I'll work on it.
One day you will all be impressed by my mad improvisational speaking skills. Less by the skills and more by the consistency. Or maybe it'll just be me who's impressed, but that's just fine with me. Any suggestions?
4 comments:
That's a terribly entertaining story! :) Maybe you should try telling THAT for your next oral presentation or something...
Hahaha, I could've fit some kind of gospel principle into that....too bad the story happened WHEN I NEEDED ONE!! Sigh....I failed today. Can I try again?
Oh, sad. I remember when I gave lessons in church and seminary how nervous and unworthy I felt "preaching" to girls that were older than me. I'm more of an observer as well. But, with college presentations (ugh!) and more chances in church/institute, you'll get a good idea of how to structure your words, make notes...and focus on your chi. My main fault is that I enjoy telling elaborate stories, and that sometimes gets me off track and I forget what I'm talking about. Not everybody is meant (or "blessed") with the power of speech. I think you are. You'll get there.
The most frustrating part is that I've spoken in front of hundreds of people before and been just fine. Maybe it was because there were so few people there that it threw me off. Too close for comfort or something like that. Ah well, I'm over it now......sort of :P
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