Cover Your Eyes

I had an ...interesting... experience today. My family moved from Anaheim Hills, California about 15 years ago and wound up here in good ol' Murray, Utah. Coincidentally, an awful lot of people from the Anaheim area have also ended up inhabiting round abouts here in the land of no consonants. We welcome all. ANYwho, there was this Anaheim 10th Ward get together for all themsfolks and their families today at the old Bishop's new house (Did that make any sense? Hardy-har). But ya, so my brother, my parents, and I all went packin up to Bountiful for food after church. Yes, I mostly just went for the food.

Because I was only 5 when we moved to Utah, most of the people there thought I was Ashley at first. It was funny when they realized I wasn't, and that I was actually only 19. Bwahahaha, one day I will rule the world with misinterpretations and strange impressions! It's like a talent.

All of this was actually quite fun, so now I'll get to the 'interesting' part, which I'm sure you're all oh so very interested in yourselves. Yes, I'm talking about you. You know you wanna know. I know you know you wanna know. Aaaaaaaand here we go---

So there was this guy my parents knew named after a certain famous LDS prophet. Hahaha. He was their age, maybe a little older. He seemed like a pretty cool successful guy, but that was just my first impression. He stayed and talked to us for a bit. And talked. And talked. And ignored us. And talked. Woof. He talked about himself and his oh so very, very wise business ventures, his success with stocks, his son's success with business, success, success, success. It got to the point where I was staring stoically out the window trying not to be sarcastic, my dad was staring inwards trying not to yawn, my mom was staring over Jo's head trying not to sigh ridiculously loud, and Adam was staring at his hands with his nostrils flared horrendously and squinting to prevent absurd levels of laughter. These things be only the tip of yon ice-berg. Body of afore-mentioned berg as follows: He starts talking about how all his success is due to God's hand. Okay, that's cool. I agree, I'm religious and that's what my beliefs are as well. Yay. But he was RIDICULOUS! Totally overconfident man trying to seem humble by overstating how 'small' a role he played in his own 'enormous' success. I've known plenty of people who were not only more successful at life, but much more successful at being humble as well. Humility not being my strong suit, I know I should have little room to speak, but it gets better, so I must share. Now we're all just sitting with glazed eyes trying to decide on a tactful way to run for our lives, and he starts talking about his work in the temple. Cool. We all try to be respectful of that at least, so we all start listening. I'm still staring out the window, mind you, but I'm listening at least. He's talking about how his grandfather never got to marry his first love because of her untimely death, and how he just recently got the opportunity to seal them together. That's awesome, genuinely cool for him. Kudos cocky man. Kudos. Then strikes a serious case of malopropism, ensuing hilarity soon to follow. We goes on to the next topic, closing his previous topic with "so after consumating their marriage I went on to...." We all stopped listening at this point. Adam looks over at me for a co-conspirator in suppressing histerical laughter. I continue staring out the window and say quietly, "ya, I heard. hehe." My mom leans over without making eye contact and says "we'll have to talk about this later." My mom had to get up and leave.

Now at this point we're all just thinking this man is ridiculous. Then he starts Gospel Grilling my brother. His punchline and point for this was to lead up to "But do you know when the 2nd coming is?" Adam: ".....no.....2015? Hahaha, just kidding, I have no idea. We're not supposed to know." (Awkward laughter as he realizes our self proclaimed faux prophet is being serious) "Do...you?" Jo: "Well....." and here he proceeds to give us some mathematical and symbolic explanation as to why it's going to happen in the year 2030. For sure. Like, he was dead serious. Then he says "It says in the scriptures that no man shall know the day or the time, but it doesn't say we can't know the year. God means what he says and says what he means." Then he stands up and leaves. What an exit.

As my brother and I sit there in complete shock, I lean over and say "This man has a theme song. Would you like to hear it?" Well of course. HERE IT GOES!!!

"IIIIIIII'm holier than thou, I've got the spirit now! I thank God Almighty that I'm holier than thou!!"

Oh so appropriate. I think I peed a little on the ride home from laughing about the importance of consumating the dead before 2030. Heaven forbid we should all be death bed consumators. hehehehehehehehehehehehe. Oh joy, I may now have to be even more often awkward for kicks and giggles. Be prepared.

Ummm....I'm not proof-reading this, soooooooooo....get over it. Hope it makes sense at least.

Peace out my lovely ducks!

Crumbs From Your Table

I've decided to try to make my blog a little less annoying and a little more fun and interactive. We'll see how that goes (what with all 1 1/2 people that read this). I've been thinking a lot about what fun things to write about and my first topic I've chosen is......(drumroll).......

WORDS I HATE FOR NO GOOD REASON

Now I know this seems totally random, but hey, random is fun right? I've recently noticed a lot of words that bother me, so I thought I'd start keeping a list. Now keep in mind that this was a mental list, and thereby incomplete because my memory SUCKS, but who says I can't add to it later, right? Mauahaha. So here we go.....

1) Supper-It makes me shudder. I want to throw things when I hear people say it.

2) Bathe-I don't know why I hate it so. I can remember in Elementary School the first time I heard it when one of my friends said that she had bathed. I was liked, ummm, you mean bath-ed? No, no, it's bathed. With a long a. Baaaaaaaathd. I hate it. Kill it now.

3) Stew-Now this one's tricky. I think the word's fine if it's pronounced stoo. But it really gets to me when people say it st-ew. Like ewwww! Stew. Like st-(j)ew. Not that I have anything against the word Jew. It's just a suitable pronunciation example. haha. When said st-ew, it makes people sound all prim and proper and fake British. Now if a British person said it and it came out st-ew, I'd be totally fine with that.

4) So I says-I know this one is more of a phrase, but rawr!! It bothers me when people tell a story and use this phrase. So I says to her, how many years have you been speaking English? See? Doesn't that just rankle? Doesn't it irk? It's irksome. Use better grammar.

5) Snack-This one is also tricky. It only bothers me occassionally, and mostly only recently. Snack. Snack. Snaaaaack......I dunno. No me gusta.

6) Slacks-When referring to pants. They're not slacks. They're pants. PANTS.

7) Blouse-Same as above. Just call it a freaking shirt. What are you, an 80 year old homemaker with apple pie on the windowsill? Don't think so. SHIRT.

8) Gouge-This word just makes me itch. It's gross. The end.

9) Lesbian-Whatever the concept, the word itself just bothers me. It's such a slimy phonetic sound. With the lsb sound. Yuck. Admittedly, this one is starting to bother me less and less as I get older. Haha....

Okay.....I'm just making myself all grossed out now. No mas. There are a few other really good ones that I can't think of right now, but maybe I'll remember them soon. There's a somewhat (not really to most people) interesting article I read about how girls are more bothered by words than guys. Being a Linguist, I was intrigued. If you're really bored, here's the link.

The Moist Panties Phenomenon (ahahahaha).

Are there any words you can think of that give you the willies? Words you think should die immediately and never be spoken or written again? Words you hate for no apparent reason but make you violently angry when you hear them? Bring. It. On.

Commando

What is the most adventuresome thing you've done?

There are two things that I think come in a close tie for first. The first and most obvious one is skydiving. I've been twice in the last year and a half and I plan to go a third time next year if I have the money. I have always loved the feeling of free falling and skydiving is exactly that. I want to go a third time because on the third jump I would be allowed to go without being strapped onto an instructor. Of course, an instructor would still jump with me, otherwise I wouldn't go. I love it, it's an amazing feeling.

The second thing that was adventuresome for me but probably pretty average for most other people was going to RYLA. I got a random phone call one day about going to this youth camp thing. I had no idea what it was all about, but I figured it would look really good on a resume as it had to do with the Rotary Club. I normally tend to ignore things that I don't completely know what they're about, but this time I figured that I should get out of my comfort zone and give it a shot. I went, by myself, to this camp where I was confused out of my mind the entire first day. I had no idea why I was there or why I had been called. Normally people have to apply for the program. I really lucked out I guess. Going to RYLA was one of my favorite experiences and if I hadn't just gotten off my butt and decided to go, I would have missed out on an awesome opportunity. For me, going somewhere like that completely by myself without knowing a single person was REALLY adventuresome. Now I do it all the time, haha. Go me Go!

In The Tunnels

For Christmas once my mom gave everyone in my family a jar full of questions for us to answer. We got it years ago with the instruction to pull them out as a sort of journal entry topic when we were older, hopefully married with kids. I plan to answer them all later in my life like intended, but I think it will be kind of fun to answer some of them now. So although no one reads these, I'm going to do one occassionally just for fun. Here we go!

Describe family traditions that you remember

One of the biggest, and especially the most memorable today, is playing Nintendo together at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Today is Thanksgiving and, like usual, all the 'kids' got together downstairs and played Tetris, SuperSmash Bros, and SuperMario. We usually play Dr. Mario too, but we haven't gotten to that yet. I don't remember how long ago our silly little Nintendo tradition came about, but I do remember that it was my idea (Go ME!!). I had been thinking about how kind of normal Christmas Eve was, so I asked Adam and Ashley if they wanted to stay up and play Dr. Mario. Ever since then we have done it every year, and now we have Mark and Katrina playing as well.

Our family has never been particularly big on traditions. And we're a little strange. Perhaps that's why our most prominent tradition includes something so nerdy as Nintendo....haha. Another fun tradition we used to have was going to Lake Powell with the Lethbridge family every year. We haven't been for the last two summers because everyone's at the age where we don't have the time to coordinate a week long trip. The year we stopped it was because Adam and Ashley had work and I had Clayton. I think Synergy tour was the same week as our Powell date, or something like that. However it worked, we ended up selling our half of the time share back to the Lethbridges. We all miss it a lot and I hope that once we all are married and settled down that we'll be able to start going again with all of us and our families.

I loved going to Lake Powell every year, if only for the car ride. I love long car rides. It's a fun time to talk, goof off, and anticipate what's to come. Also, Lake Powell is just pure awesomeness. I'm slightly afraid of being in water because I can't see what's beneath me, but Lake Powell has always been worth it. I'm terrible at wakeboarding, but I've started to enjoy tubing in the past few years. I used to hate it because Bud is a sadistic boat driver and I would always get hurt, but now I find that kind of fun. Masocist....haha. It was also fun hanging out with the Lethbridges. We would always watch "What About Bob," "Groundhog Day," and "The Man Who Knew Too Little." Yay for Bill Murray at Powell. I also loved playing games with them. I'm going to miss Lake Powell. :(

Those are the biggest traditions that I can think of....we have a couple Christmas ones like our candy calendar for December, setting up the tree together, and opening presents together in the morning, but those are all kind of the usual traditions that a lot of families have. Although I do have to say that our family is unique in the fact that it's an effort to get Adam, Ashley and I out of bed on Christmas morning. We're all excited for presents, but rather than getting up at 5 or 6 like most kids, we roll out of bed and into the shower at around 9....we're a little lazy. Well, that's not true. We're just not morning people. And it doesn't help that we've usually stayed up until 5 or 6 the night before playing Dr. Mario.

I love my awkward family. :D

Cave

Heeey.....so I'm having a serious lack of good new music other than Mika right now. Do you guys have any fantastic ideas of music I should listen to??

Be Calm

I wanted to change the background color on my blog but with no success. Maybe I'll try again later. So basically this week has been a seriously of fantastically awesome failures on my part. There's been one a day so far. Here's a list:

Monday: Slept in through half my classes on accident because I'm AWESOME.

Tuesday: Poured rootbeer all over my computer because I thought it would be AWESOME. My computer actually ended up being more or less okay except for the keyboard which is having some struggles because the rootbeer dried and all the keys are sticking. I pulled the sticky keys off and washed them, which helped, but I wasn't able to wash the mechanisms underneath each key very well. And I accidentally popped the mechanism off the 'c' key and tried to stick it back on myself. So now I may need to go in and get my keyboard cleaned at the Apple store, and I definitely need to get the 'c' key fixed. The most annoying is that it still clicks, it just doesn't show up so I think that I've typed it and I look up and it's not there. Ugh....I'll live. It could've been SO much worse. I'll take it. Oh, I also spilled all over the couch cushion and the pillow. That was nice. Apparently our pillows can go through the washing machine. Who knew? Someone suggested I get one of those protective keyboard covers. I think it's not a bad idea, I'm just worried it'll make it harder to type. Most of my keys are starting to unstick now that I'm using them more. Should I try to fix the 'c' key on my own? Decisions....

Wednesday: Stuck my hand on the stove like an AWESOME person and burned my thumb. Oddly enough it didn't hurt, just burned a really smooth bar onto my finger. No more fingerprint? Not quite that cool.....haha. I'm just glad it wasn't an instant blister. Then I would've had to wear a glove at work, which would've SUCKED.

Thursday: I spilled at work because I thought water all over the floor when I'm in a hurry would be AWESOME. Fortunately it was only two glasses of water and it was only in the aisle. I'm so glad I didn't actually spill ON anyone. Phew** And fortunately I had just handed the table their hot chocolate. Super lucky because most of the spill made it's way onto my pants before hitting the floor. That would've KILLED. Eeek.

So today is Friday and needless to say I'm a little concerned. Can I break the pattern and defy fate? We'll see.

We got our work schedules for the rest of Nov/Dec yesterday. I kind of wish we always got our schedules in month long increments instead of every week. Or at least every two weeks would be nice. I mean, I totally understand why they do it the way they do. I'm just saying. I do appreciate how flexible the schedules are though, so I shouldn't complain at all. I'm pretty excited about the schedule, I'm scheduled a lot more and that will be nice since I need money to pay for Synergy. I made my first payment today. $500!!! Ahhh......my bank account was at $1000 for a while and it felt so nice. No longer.....*sniff* But ya, in a couple weeks it should be right back up there. My only qualm is that Nick appears to have accidentally scheduled me for one of the days I asked off. I say accidentally because he said that everyone who asked for days off got them off. Oops Nick, oops. The day I'm scheduled for just happens to be the day I have a test for one of my online classes. Kind of important.... I'll just have to talk to him on Saturday.

Ok, last thing I'll say for now is that the new Mika CD is pretty much the most fantastic thing I've ever heard in my life. Just a little tidbit for ya. If you don't know who Mika is, shame on you. Listen to his music. It'll change your life. Haha.

We're Made Of Star Speck

So life's been pretty dang awesome for me right about now. I've been really enjoying my classes at school, which I have to admit is somewhat depressing when you realize that most of my classes are grammar in some form or another. I've found the U to be much more enjoyable than the Y for a lot of different reasons. I did like some things about the Y, but it's so much more comfortable on campus at the U. I felt like I was always being watched at the Y, people always wondering what I was doing anywhere. At the U I can sit down in the middle of the hallway and get on my computer and no one else questions it. It's really nice. :D Hahaha, I also like how much less.....uptight everyone is. I can say this because I'm an uptight mormon, but most of the people at BYU had a stick up their bums. I must've missed the week at church when they handed those out. Ah well, better for me. Now that the semester's winding down it's about time to register for my Spring semester classes. Terrifying thought.... I was going over the different job possibilities for me if I major in Linguistics, and I found a few that I like. I'm considering maybe minoring in computer science as well, that way I could work on some sort of computer linguistic program or search engine. Or I could work for the FBI or something, muahahaha. I don't really know what I'm going to do at this point. It's kind of scary, as I'm sure you all know. Decisions like this always are, so I should just buck up and get over it. It's not like I can't do something else later.

I got a job finally!! Well, I got it about two months ago, but that's besides the point. I'm working at Desert Star as a server and it's actually a lot of fun. It's nice because a lot of the new people have already graduated from high school. It's the excessive amounts of 17 year olds that concerned me at first, but I'm getting along just fine with everyone I work with. And it's nice to finally be making money. I think the best part for me is that I get to take most of it home with me everyday, so I am actually able to see a return for my work almost immediately. I like that a lot.

I'm trying to save up my money for Synergy next year. Yes, I'm doing it again. Rehearsals start in January and I am sooo excited!! We're going to the Philipines next year, which I'm sure will be awesome. Auditions were maybe three weeks ago and Kim's been harassing me for those entire three weeks to find MORE BOYS!! AHHH!!! I've asked a couple though, so we'll see how that works out. There's one I'm kind of excited about and I hope he'll do it. That'd be awesome. But ya, I've been looking forward to doing Synergy again ever since we finished last time. It's the only thing that got me through 2 semesters of BYU, looking forward to being able to be at home again and doing Synergy. It's nice to have such a close group of random people. Clayton is my high school, but much less dramatic. I'm so much more excited this time than last time too because I know the people in it so much better already. Last time I was one of the youngest and it was kind of nerve wracking because I sometimes felt like I shouldn't take my place in the group for granted. I mean, I shouldn't, but I should've been a little more....outgoing maybe? Ah well, this year will be so much fun. :D

That's about it for now. I just wanted to get out all the awesome things happening to me right now because I want to make sure I'm not taking things for granted. I'm so grateful for what I have right now! My life is taking a turn for the less-boring and although that sounds really dorky, it's seriously saving my sanity. Adam can attest to the life boredom that we were going through and now it's finally starting to go away for me. It's awesome! :D You're all maniacs! PEAce OUt!!

Crazy Life

So in case any of you have ever wondered, my blog titles usually have nothing to do with what I write about. I always pick the title of the song I'm listening to when I first start. Or, if the song if lame and retarded (like "Prelude to the afternoon of a faun") I press the skip button until I get one I like. So ya, just if you were wondering. This particular song is one I've had on my computer for a long time but I've never actually heard. It's from the Coil album by Toad the Wet Sprocket. Weird....the word sprocket reminds me of Lake Powell. Do you guys remember that giant hornet that was living in the railing? Spigot, that's what we named him. Why'd we name him that? He came out of a spigot....?? Hahaha

I haven't written a blog for a while now, and though nothing I've written about has really been that interesting, I honestly have not been able to think of anything to write about this summer. A lot of things have been happening lately though, and I'm starting to get my anxious beginning of school feeling. I forgot how much I liked that feeling. I'll be starting school again in a week and I have to admit that I'm actually very excited. Especially because I'll be living at home this time and don't have to worry so much. I'm way less nervous. Yay for the U!

But ya, like I said, a lot of things have been going on, most of which I'm excited about. I just started Freaky Fridays at Clayton, which is a halloween show at my dance studio. There's usually only a Christmas show and a spring time show, but this year Kim (the director) has decided to try out seasonal shows. Hence Freaky Fridays! It's not what I'm used to at Clayton, but I have to admit that the change is a lot of fun. It's always interesting to try something new. The show is going to be at Wheeler Farm during October and I still haven't decided whether it's supposed to be scary or not. I think the general idea at first was that it WAS supposed to be, but seeing as how it's Clayton, we haven't come anywhere close, hahaha. I get to dress up like a zombie though!! I'm so excited! The costumes are going to be like Thriller and we're each in charge of our own costumes, so I don't have to worry about it not fitting and all that jazz. I'm excited to buy something and then just totally rip and burn it to shreds. Woot!

Along with having a lot of fun at Freaky Fridays, it's also been a major wake up call to see how out of shape I've been this past year. Good grief. My thighs are still so sore from rehearsal on Wednesday that I can barely walk. Well, I can walk now, but tackling the stairs is still an event....But ya, I've been realizing that no matter how much I may hate running and things like that, they're really important and I've got all the wrong muscles all buffed up. I need to balance it out a bit. Hahaha. If that made sense

Another thing that's happened lately, or I guess, will happen soon, is my friend Natalie moving to California for the semester. I'm most definitely NOT excited for her to be gone for four months, but I can't begrudge her for choosing to go work at Disney. I seriously thought about doing that myself but I felt strongly that I should stay and graduate from college first. (When I say 'felt strongly', I don't mean inspired or anything, it just made a whole lot of sense to me to stay and finish) I'm afraid that if I went to Disney I would love it so much that I wouldn't be able to come back and just finish boring old college. But ya, I'm going to miss her a lot. She's been one of my constant friends since I was....I dunno....six or seven?? Since we met. She's been my best friend basically my whole life and I'm sad she's going away. :( But she'll come back and I'm not one for sad goodbyes and all that jazz, so I haven't been too upset about it. I can always text/email/call/facebook her and all that. Yay for technology!

Another thing lately is that I've also been considering joining the Air Force. Completely random and a half, I know! I mean, I don't really want to be in the army and have that whole never being home issue, but it's just something I've been thinking about it. I dunno, what do you guys think?

I've been looking for a job lately too. Woof. That's been interesting. I think it will be a lot easier to find a job once school starts. A lot of people will be quiting before school starts and I'm planning on taking one of their spots. I only have classes on Monday and Wednesday afternoons, so my schedules pretty open now. I would really love working somewhere like the Mayan or in a bookstore. I want to get a job at Barnes and Noble, mostly for the discount, but I actually think that would be a lot of fun. At this point though, I'll take JUST about anything. Haha.

Ya, well, I want to write more and there's been a lot more going on, but I tend to be very longwinded, so I'll stop for now. May the force be with you!! :P

99 Red Balloons

So I've decided on a fun new twist to my 100 goals list. My newest goal is to send off a red balloon each time I accomplish something on my list. I'll write the goal on it and let it off into the sky to harass some poor stranger downwind. I'm pretty excited.

I just got back from a family trip to Seattle and I'm not gonna lie, I wanna go back really badly. It was so much fun. It gave me a little peace of mind that I've been losing as we've all been growing older. Family holidays and vacations are all different as we're growing older, going to college, getting married, and moving out. I haven't been having a hard time adjusting, I've just been looking back on the past and missing it. This trip was just a little bit of the past. My entire family came, including Mark, and we all had a blast. We did the classic things like going to the zoo, and I even made friends with my cousin who I never got along with when we were younger. All in all, this has been a good month so far and I'm hoping to keep it going. :D

Whatever I Fear

So as I'm sitting here watching my brother play Tales of Symphonia, I'm realizing just how sad my life is. Haha. I've been applying for jobs (not super zealously, I'll admit) with no luck, but it's an ongoing process. I've been meaning to go apply at Jimmy John's since they're hiring, so maybe I'll do that tomorrow. Does anyone have any brilliant ideas of where I could work? And while we're at it, does anyone have any brilliant ideas of where my brother could work? He's been looking for a job for the past couple months and it's much harder for him than it is for me, mostly because he's having to look for a professional job while I'm able to work at fast food places and such. He applied at a company in Boston and for a while I suffered from the fear that he would actually get that one and move out of the state. Bad news for him but good news for me, they didn't want him. Phew!!

Monday is my birthday and today was the day we celebrated as a family. I admit I had a lot of fun, although I always lose when we play a family game (this time being no exception). I will admit to having some serious brother envy though. I'm so used to him being here all the time that it's weird when he's gone every night with his girlfriend. Sigh, guess I'll just have to make some other friends (Yay Celeste!!). I'm excited for my birthday this year, which is strange. It's not like anything all that exciting is happening since I'm just turning nineteen, but for some reason I've been looking forward to it for weeks. Maybe it's because I have nothing else to do that I'm so excited about this. Who knows? Haha :P

I've been trying to be a good girl the past few days and actually get up at a decent time (decent meaning before 12:00). Except for Tuesday, I've actually done pretty well this week. This morning I even got up at 6:00!! That's a big deal for me! Of course I HAD to get up because I had rehearsal, but that's besides the point. It's so much easier to motivate myself to get out of bed when I actually have something worthwhile to do during the day.

Rehearsals have been fun and have given me something to do lately, thank heavens. The rehearsals are for the play Beauty and the Beast at Murray Community Arts in the Park. We start performances next Wednesday and I'm pretty excited about it, not gonna lie. We've all been worried about the run since it's been raining pretty much constantly for the last two weeks, but our director told us that if worst comes to worst we'll just trot on over to Murray High with some set pieces and make do. That's better than cancelling and that's all I was really worried about. The show is pretty stress free for me right now. It's funny because I auditioned for this play on a whim at the last minute and now it's turned into one of the funnest things I've ever done. Ok, maybe not EVER, but it's definitely up there. I'm just really glad that I did it and really greatful that I got in. I've made so many great friends and it's helped me on my quest to be able to do things on my own!!

I have a huge problem with going places without someone else with me. Kind of like how girls can't go to the bathroom without a buddy, I feel like I can't go anywhere without one. I'm always worried about not knowing what to do and just standing around like a tardo or getting lost, but recently I've been forcing myself to do things alone and it's fortunately been turning out very well. It almost makes me wish I'd started doing it before, haha, but not quite. I know this is a silly thing to be so glad about, but I've always felt uncomfortable. It's a nice feeling to start getting over something that's been a problem for years.

Ok, well enough rambling. I'll finish here and leave it for a while again. I'm planning on cutting my hair pretty short after the play is over, and possibly adding some highlights and streaks just for kicks and giggles. I've never done anything with my hair and I figure it'll be fun to try it just once. Plus, my hair grows fast enough that if it looks horrible I won't have to worry about it for long! So anyways, I'll let you know how that turns out!

Open Book

So to steal this idea from Celeste, this is my Wordle. It's not nearly as cool as hers, but it's still interesting to see. The idea is that it takes the words you use more often and makes them bigger, so apparently I talked a lot about concerts NOW!! Hahaha. I'll make sure that the next time I post a blog, it'll have a little more variety. :P

Blimey!

So in the spirit of my last post (Which I made about 5 minutes ago....) I would just like to mention my undying, totally teenage-girl LOVE for The Dr.  - What I wouldn't GIVE to be Rose Tyler!!  Sigh.....  I found out that they actually sell life size cardboard cut-outs of the Tardis.  I most definitely want one right now!  I was giggling like a silly little girl for about 20 minutes after I found out.  Oh man.  Talk about truly genius cinema.  The british know what's going on.

So you really must forgive my complete obsession with Dr. Who. I've never heard this song before, but after a short search around Youtube (which is the bomb.com), I found it and I've gotta say that it makes me just plain giddy. Boo-friggin-YA!

Don't Hassle the Hoff

This has been my favorite music video for a LONG time.  I've never quite been able to decide what my favorite part is.  Is it the dancing disco bear?  The fish in mouth?  The temper tantrum in the air or the flying motorcycle?  The bouncing alien?  The slightly pedofilic insinuations with little girl angels?  The clone Hoff that flies behind himself and grabs his own butt?  Ya, I think it's that one.  I hope you all enjoy this as much as I always have.  I think I'm in love.  Bahahaha!!!

Tornado Lessons

School is over next week!  Just one hectic week of driving between Murray and Provo, rehearsals, moving all my stuff home, cleaning the apartment, and taking finals!  Then I'm free!!  Ah, it's such a wonderful....hopeful feeling.  :D

I woke up this morning feeling mildly anxious.  I procrastinate, a lot, and so right now my brain's a little like, holy crap, I have to finish everything real quick!  Whoops!  Hahaha, it's a problem sometimes.  So ya, the problem this morning was when I woke up thinking about the two tests I have to take this weekend, along with the fact that I have to attend two concerts this week for my music 101 class (week meaning before monday), one piano recital/performance for my piano class (not sure when this has to be done), and one show with tapping in it for, surprise, my tap class.  I was worried because I had no idea where I was gonna find two concerts this weekend, but to my relief during my break between classes I realized that I had been looking at the wrong date on the byu performances calendar.  Instead of there being absolutely no performances tomorrow, there are a million!  I was apparently looking at last week.  So moral of the story is that now I have two performances I can go to tomorrow.  Now I just need to find some tap and piano performance.  Any ideas?  Haha

But ya, finding those two concerts really took off a lot of pressure and annoyance from my brain. :P  I was kicking myself for saving them all for this weekend.  In my defense, I already did six of the concerts.  I actually had time to do all of them a long, long time ago, but hey, what am I gonna do about it now?  Exactly.  

Another thing that happened today, which was amazing, was the answer to an unspoken prayer.  :D  I had been hoping for something, but afraid to outright pray for it because it seemed stupid and all that jazz, but it totally worked out anyways!  I love it when that happens.  It makes me so grateful.  

So now the only thing I really have to worry about at the moment is driving back to Provo tomorrow.  I mean, driving here isn't the problem.  The problem is rationalizing having to make the extra trip to my parents.  Maybe we'll just keep this one a secret (shhh!).  I'm going back to Murray tonight, after I babysit my cousins, because I have rehearsal tomorrow morning.  Then I need to be in Provo for the concerts (at 2 and 7) and to take my two tests.  I guess it kind of works out well.  I was wondering how I was going to fit these tests in without coming back on Saturday, and now I don't really have a choice.  I bought a ticket to the concert at 7 tomorrow, so now I don't really have a choice of whether or not I should go.  I paid, so I'll be there.  Plus, it's kind of my last chance to go to a concert before the assignment's due....haha.

So basically, this is my unnecessary information from today that I felt the strange urge to share with ya'll.  Aren't you feeling pretty darn special right about now?  Good.  You should.  You should all also go check out Adam's website.  He's been posting little comics every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  Some are really funny, some are a little goofy, and some are just plain weird.  But hey, that's Adam, so what do you really expect?  It's worth it though, you should go look. 

Go Button Animation

And ya, everybody wish me luck on my tests, and with getting myself out of bed on time tomorrow morning.  Also, if anyone happens to randomly know of any piano recitals or concerts in the next few days, by all means let me know.  Or any showings of like, Thoroughly Modern Millie or Singin' In The Rain or something.  I doubt it, but I figured I'd check. 

Have a great weekend everyone!  :D

Short Trip Home

So I'm kind of sort of stealing Stacey's idea of having a song of the moment, but this is rather a song of the last million moments, if that makes any sense.  I've heard this song a lot lately and it's been stuck in my head.  I just think that it has some very interesting lyrics.  It's kind of cool to just listen to the lyrics rather than the song.  Anyways, I put it up here for your entertainment.  :D  I don't know how to add a song to my blog, otherwise I'd put it up for you to hear it too.  

The Story Of The Grandson Of Jesus

Today is a good day to flex the muscles of the weary.

A miracle's a miracle even when it's ordinary.

We will walk on the water even though it seems scary

If someone will show us the way.

I shook hands with the man who honestly thinks he's

The grandson of Jesus with a penchant for pinchies.

He served us communion of cola and twinkies

Guess everyone has their own view.

He stood on his soapbox and told us a parable

Of a man with eye-glasses so small they're unwearable,

And the moral of the story is that all looks terrible

Depending on what you look through, what you look through.

He said, "Do unto yourself as you do unto your neighbor.

It's not an eye for an eye, it's a favor for a favor.

And it's okay if this world had a billion saviors

Cause there's so many things to be saved."

Take my words with a boulder of salt

Or blame it on your devil, always the scape-goat's fault.

We all point fingers when it comes to a halt.

Will somebody show show us the way?

Show us the way......

http://www.playlist.com/searchbeta/tracks#cloud%20cult/9

A Miracle's a Miracle Even When It's Ordinary

So you know how you often have those random periods of enlightenment in your life where you find out that you really don't know anything?  Maybe that's just me, but I've definitely been having one for a while now.  It's so weird.  I'm not saying that I know a lot, but I got to a point where I couldn't reasonably accept the fact that the human brain could hold so much information consciously at one time.  That sounds really weird, but hopefully I'll be able to make a little more sense.

I always feel like when I learn something new, I forget something else.  Like I can only hold so much information before my brain starts recycling.  Like I know all I can know at this moment. I know thatmight sound completely retarded, but what are you gonna do, right?  Haha.

It's just funny to see how much my perspectives on so many things have been changed since I moved out and started going to college.  I mean, I go home ALL the time, so it's not like a huge change or anything, but still, I've been somewhere that's not Murray or Clayton for the last 8 months.  It's interesting to see what things are different.  What things matter to people that I never thought about before.  Things that I accepted as normal, but really were only normal where I had grown up.  

I expect a cultural leap when I go to a different state or country, but it's just so strange to me to have one just 40 minutes from my home.  There's people here at BYU from so many different states and cultures, and it's amazing to see them all come together and be a part of it in my own unusual way.  If I try to look past the creepy things I dislike about Provo, it's actually pretty amazing.  (This is for all the people I made feel nervous about coming to BYU :P)  BYU is the 2nd most desired school to get into in the whole US.  People try so hard and put so much effort into getting accepted.  They work to get scholarships and move so far away from home, just for this opportunity.  And here I am wanting more than anything to get out.  It makes me feel a little strange.  

I feel a little ungrateful.  I'm very grateful for the scholarship that I got, and for the opportunity to come to BYU, but the fact that I didn't really work that hard for it makes me feel weird.  I mean, I didn't work any harder than usual, so maybe I'm just used to it, but I don't know.

One of my new favorite quotes is one that I pass every time I come back to Provo from Murray.  It's flashed up along with a few others on the sign at Thanksgiving Pointe.  It says, "Only a mediocre person is always at his best."  The first few times I read it I didn't really think about it, but one time as I was driving past it, it just made sense.  I had been sitting there thinking about how I feel like such a slacker because I feel like I haven't had to work for many of the opportunities that I've been given in my life, and because of that, I always feel so guilty and unworthy when I don't do perfectly.  

There are so many of these things, like being in Synergy, getting to go to RYLA, getting into BYU with a scholarship, etc.  I feel like I'm an ungrateful person for not being at my best.  That quote made me feel so much better because it just reminded me of the fact that everything is a process, and only a mediocre person is at their best.  If I was perfect, what fun would there be?  There'd be no more to learn, there'd be nothing to work for, and nothing to overcome.

My brother was talking about how he liked pain.  I joked and called him a freaky masochist, but I knew what he meant.  He didn't mean that he enjoyed being hurt, what he meant was that he enjoyed being able to overcome something like that.  Being able to trip and fall on your face and stand up with a black eye and just laugh it off.  To prove that you're more powerful than the physical.  I like that so much.  We can overcome something so simple.

I know I may not be making sense or connecting in the way I mean to, but as I always say, I'm writing this mostly for my own benefit, and if someone else gets something out of it, GREAT!!  :D  If not, whatever, just don't hate me because it's long, hahaha.

But anyways, these two things go together so well for me right now.  I have to overcome my insecurities about not being perfect, and stop second guessing myself.  Yesterday in church there were two things that really stood out to me.  One was when the bishop was answering questions (Not to copy you or anything Stace, I promise it's something different!), and I can't remember the exact question he was answering, but he was talking about how impossible perfection is.  I admit, I was only half listening because I'm a dork, but some part of me picked up the parts I needed to hear.  It's okay to be imperfect, as long as we're trying our hardest.  The other thing was one of the girls who was bearing her testimony (I think it was Jae Dansie) and she mentioned that she had faith in the little things, like praying to find your keys, but had a harder time when it came to the bigger things.  

I don't have that exact problem, but it seemed somewhat similar to me still.  I've had a lot of time to think in my car (the best place because no one's there to distract me!!) and I've been thinking about faith.  I have faith, I've always had faith, but my biggest problem is that while I have undoubting faith in God, I doubt people, mostly myself.  Kind of like how people can have the faith TO heal, but the people also need the faith to BE healed.  I don't doubt when I hear or see miracles, like a story my uncle told before he died about a dream he had.  I won't share that, because I don't know if it's too personal to my family, but it's one of the big faith things that I have never doubted.  But there are things like being healed, or receiving answers to prayers, where I just don't have enough faith in myself.  It's like I'm saying to myself, why should I deserve this?  Why would God help me with this when he doesn't have to?  I mean, I know the answers, I've been taught them my entire life, but for some reason I'm just having trouble with it.  And it's like, I can prayer for faith that my prayers are answered, and I receive that with the little things, like I pray to be able to help someone, and I do.  Or I pray to know what to do, and I know.  But there are some things that I think, I can't pray about this until I'm more worthy of God's help.  I hate thinking that way, because how do I become worthy of his help without his help?  It's a stupid paradox that I've set up in my brain and can't seem to get rid of.

That's why I've been so grateful to be able to come back to Murray and be with my friends who are so faithful in that way in particular.  I hear stories from them that I'm sure they don't realize I think about so much, but they help me in such unexpected ways.  Like I told Stacey with the movies and how desensitized I had become.  She off-handedly mentioned something about how uncomfortable a particular scene had made her and I had to seriously think for a long time about what scene she had possibly been talking about.  When I finally realized which one she meant, I felt a little guilty, haha.  I had thought it was pretty tame, but I was COMPARING it to other movies.  Bad idea.  If I rationalize which movies I watch by comparing them to each other, what good is that going to do me since ALL of the movies are getting worse?  I need to pick a line that doesn't move even if the rating system does.

It's little things like that which make me really realize the things I need to be focusing on and the things that will help me.  Thanks friends :D  Haha, you're the best.  

Another one of my favorites is when Jon was saying the prayer before a performance for Synergy and he said, instead of the all too common "please bless us to perform to the best of our abilities," he snuck in "please bless us to perform to the best of thy ability."  I wasn't sure if  I had heard correctly or if he had done it on purpose until I asked him later (yes to both), but it struck me really hard all of a sudden at that performance.  Tying in the rest of my rant, I'm not using my own ability for anything, I'm using God's ability.  Or rather, he's letting me.  It's through him and the spirit that I have a brain in the first place (yes, I'm pretty sure it's there) and can hold so much more information than I can possibly fathom right now.  It's because of him that I can have the opportunity to work my way through my own problems, and even if I feel unworthy or lacking even if I'm working hard, it just means that I'm progressing.  It's through him that I have great friends that can help me realize my own faith and help me keep my own standards.  In short, I LOVE LIVING!!!  Even if it's scary sometimes :D

Woot.  I swear one of these days I'm gonna scare you all off with how longwinded I am, but whatever.  Deal with it.  Buahahahaha!!!!  Much love!

Daaaaaaaa DAAAAaaaaa DAAAAAAAAAAAaaa DADA (dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum)..........

So I would like to just take a second to talk about my rotten luck today.  Well, not necessarily today, but right now.  So in my astronomy class my teacher mentioned how we have our projects due in a couple weeks.  One of the girls in my class wanted to do them together, which I was more than happy to agree to.  So we decided last second that we would come tonight to use the telescope.

Unfortunately, the telescope and observation deck are only open from 8-10 tonight, and my last class ended at 4:30.  So I sat around for 3 1/2 hours, getting some things accomplished and watching Dr. Who (hahaha).  I was feeling pretty good until I got here and she wasn't here.  I'm a little worried that she won't make it because her facebook status says that she just got sick to her stomach, again, about an hour ago.  This is NOT a good sign.  And it's not like there's any way she can really let me know since we don't have each other's phone numbers or anything.

And if she doesn't show up, then I'm gonna be way too chicken to go do them by myself, and this will have all been just a fun little chill on campus......right.

AND to top it all off, my computer's about to die.  So even if she were to facebook me to let me know she isn't going to make it, I probably won't know until I'm home anyways because my computer will be DEAD. 

LAME

.......so needless to say, I hope she makes it :D

Love, Love Changes Everything

WARNING:  This post contains annoying discussions about things that bug the crap out of me, so if you don't want to be annoyed, don't read it.  You've been warned.  :D

I just have to express my.....current frustration with some people.  Some people are so over worried about things that I personally don't think matter very much.  It's upsetting.  I mean, I hate getting into discussions that are controversial and are going to make people upset, but I'm seriously just sick of sitting around and listening to people say things that I think are so misguided.  

Some people wonder, for instance, why people are so worried about things like language when there are other things like death and torture going on in the world.  Now Mark, chill.  I want to give you my opinion on this and I know you're the one that's gonna get all uppity about the next couple paragraphs :P.  I'm worried about language because language expresses how we feel.  If I swear, that means that I don't respect who I'm talking to/about.  It means that I'm trying to hurt them.  I feel like a lot of problems are started by people who can't control their language.  Also, many people are worried about those other things just as much, but what are they going to do about it?  We have what we have and nothing is going to change that.  We do what we can, but we shouldn't let other things bother us unduly.  

Yes, people are concerned about animals dying and being tortured, and while I am as well, I don't feel like that is such a pressing issue as people make it out to be (sorry).  I honestly feel that the biggest problem is the attitude that people have when they do things like that.  There are people who torture animals because they think it's fun.  That's wrong, I agree.  Those people should be smacked upside the head.  However, all death causes pain, and while I may be disgusted by the way animals are treated in slaughter houses and such, I'm not going to stop eating them.  Protein is important, and without killing animals to eat, the human race wouldn't be here.  Sorry, but it's the truth.  We're not rabbits, so......

People are concerned that we're not doing our part.  Grow up.  Just because we don't flaunt the things we do, doesn't mean we don't care.  We don't always have to stand up and fight for peace.  Sometimes living peacefully is enough.  Sometimes quietly helping without condemning people is the best thing we can do.  I know that I'm being a little hypocritical right now because I'm sitting here ranting, but I'm sorry.  Get over it :P.  

There are things that need our support, and while they may not be perfect, they are still good.  Like the government.  In reality, in truth, we're not going to change the government to the way we want it to run.  Along the lines of Winston Churchhill, democracy SUCKS but it's the best we have.  I personally think that our government would be better with a parliament and universal healthcare, but I still support the government that we have right now.  Even if prop. 8 hadn't passed, I would still support the government.  Until the government goes completely corrupt and takes away the freedoms that I feel are owed to us as citizens, I'm going to support it, no matter how much I might disagree with it.  People who call themselves patriotic and then rebel against the government, misinterpret things, and try to persuade others to rebel with them-those people are NOT Americans!  Sure, there are times when petitions and demonstrations are necessary and good, but I think people get carried away.

The job of the government isn't to please YOU.  The job of the government is to protect the rights of as many of its citizens as it can at one time.  It's impossible to please people who want completely opposite things.  Somebody's going to be upset everytime the government does something, and everybody's going to be upset by the government at some time or another, some more than others.  

Alright, now I know this is annoying and exactly what I said I hate, but I couldn't help it.  I have so many things that I want to say to people, but I don't want to argue.  I want to get my feelings across in a good way, but I'm too impatient to do that sometimes.  That is obviously something I need to work on, but in the meantime, you get this :P.  

The moral of my story is that people do care.  People as a whole will generally tend to make righteous decisions, and when I say righteous I'm not trying to push religion or anything.  I just mean good, healthy decisions.  Well, I guess I am trying to push religion a little, but whatever..... :P.  Haha.  We can only be happy if we want to be.  If we try to take on the burdens of the entire world, we aren't going to be able to help anybody.  We have to help ourselves first, and then help others by means that are possible for us while still maintaining our own happiness.  Once I'm happy, it's easier to help others.  I'm not going to go out of my way to do service when I'm angry at the world, or when I'm sick or unhappy.  Sorry, I know this isn't how it should be, but it's how it is.  I do service and help others when I am happy and my life is in order.  Also, we can't take all the problems of the world on ourselves because that will just make us depressed and make us pity those who are less fortunate than us.  I think one of the most offensive things people can give is pity.  People don't need our pity.  They don't want our pity.  Sometimes people want our silent help.  If we make a big deal of their problems, it is quite possible that more damage is being done than help.  People are proud, and our pity is annoying.

Alright, I'll stop now, for your sakes.  Rant done.  End.  :D 

So You Say You Want A Revolution

So I've been having dreams lately that I wouldn't quite classify as nightmares, but to me they're just as bad.  I've never really had many dreams.  I usually have them when I'm sick or really busy or something, but only really ever at home.  Maybe that's why I'm having weird dreams now....because I'm NOT living at home.  Hmmmm....

My whole life all my dreams have been like, well, video games or movies.  I dream about what I watched on tv that day, or I have strange dreams where I have to stay out of the line of sight of the purple gorillas or I'll get smacked with their clubs.  Whatever.  They've never really been anything all that cool or unusual.  I've had the purple gorilla dream more than once, and there's only ever been one other dream that I've had twice.  That one's my favorite to think about.  Heehee.

This dream was the most unusual because, like I said, I had it more than once.  The unusual part, though, was that the second time I knew what was going to happen.  I kept saying, I've had this dream before, but for some reason it was all still real.  I had to STOP what was happening.  If it's a dream, why should I care.  I distinctly remember knowing it was a dream.  It was a funny dream.  The Joker from Batman, old school Batman of course (the new one wasn't out then :D), was disguised as a girl for some reason, and going out with my brother.  The second time, I KNEW it was the Joker and I tried to tell him, but he just wouldn't listen.  He was under some kind of influence, because he was being a total jerk, which is very unlike him in any situation.  Well, I can't say if the dream ever really ended, but the last thing I remember both times was the Joker's head in the clouds above me yelling at me and telling me to stop trying to ruin all his plans, blah, blah, blah.  I'm sure the dream was a little scarier when I was younger, but everytime I remember it I can't help but laughing.

My dreams the past few months, though, have been very strange.  Especially the last couple weeks.  They're not nightmares by any stretch.  I've only ever had one nightmare that I can remember, and that one was when I was on Tylenol.  Apparently I'm allergic and it makes me hallucinate.  Fun!  Hahaha.....

Anyways, the dreams have been a little disconcerting and comforting at the same time.  They're not random, they're about things that I've been talking to people about or thinking about a lot lately, but I don't like seeing them visualized.  It's one thing to think about something and another thing to experience it.  Again.  I'm good with not having these things EVER happen in real life.  I'm not one for all the phsyciological crap, but apparently something's worrying me.  The fact that these dreams have just been lately makes me think it's my moving to Provo.

Not that there's anything wrong with moving out.  I'm not all homesick and whiney, well, maybe a little, but I really just don't like being in Provo.  Nothing wrong with BYU, just Provo.  The people are just....very different.  I have a personality that does NOT fit with BYU.  While BYU may be the better school for the things I want to do, I don't think that I can ever stay here.  I'm switching to the U next semester, much to my relief, and I'm really glad.  I've met people who go to the U, and it's a lot more laid back than it is here in Happy Valley.  Especially compared to where I live.  The people at the Branbury, while nice, definitely have a little issue with pride.  Not like I'm the most humble person in the world, but seriously!  These people are just kind of condescending sometimes.  Again, I admit, I'm also condescending, but I like to think that I'm not this bad.  I just feel downright uncomfortable around a lot of the people here.  Some people I've met are amazing, and I've become friends with them really quickly.  The thing that makes me laugh is that I have found out, in most cases, that those people are also desperate to get out of here.  I'm glad I'm not the only one like me.  

I'm so excited to move back this summer.  I'm going to get a job, which will be new for me, but hopefully good.  Also, Clayton (my dance studio) is doing a show this October that I will hopefully get to be in.  I would probably cry if I wasn't.  I'm so excited about that because I've been looking forward to doing Synergy (the college age group) since last September.  I would have to wait an entire year still, but now I have something to look forward to in less than half of one.  It's a comforting thought.  

Well, I guess all in all, I'm a little perturbed by my dreams, but hopefully once everything is back to the way I feel it should be, they won't bother me as much anymore.  I hope that once I'm out of Provo the dreams will stop.  It's all fine and dandy to have a bad dream, but now I'm thinking about them all day and that's not distracting AT ALL........

I'm over it!  :D