Thursday, December 2, 2010

Mentors and Dementors

I have so much I want to talk about, but I'll try to go one thing at a time.

First thing's first, I've finally decided on a couple songs I want to try a mash-up of. There won't be any fancy video or anything unless I find someone to help me out, but I plan on recording an audio file and if it's any good I'll post it up here. I'm pretty stoked though. It's gonna be a lot of fun.

I moved back to my home ward and immediately got called to be the primary co-chorister. This calling is a lot of fun and it's better than I anticipated. You'd think getting up in front of a group of kids teaching songs would be relatively simple, and it is. It's getting up in front of the rest of the presidency and the other chorister that's a little intimidating for me. I've been warming into it though and I'm starting to feel more confident. I feel like I've been able to use some great ideas from my mom and I hope to start coming up with some good ideas of my own. I've had enormous help from my mom, who has had this calling about a million times in her life and is in fact the current stake primary chorister. She is prepared for just about anything. I've had a great amount of help in the form of my fellow co-chorister as well. Both of these women have helped me more than I can say and I apprecaiate them so much.
It's kind of an empowering feeling to know that I can stand up in front of a group like the one in primary every week and teach them something. I can understand a little of why people would want to be teachers. I'm not saying I would like to be a teacher, in fact I think it would drive me nuts and the students would be confused beyond reasoning, but it's a good experience for me to practice something like this. It's just one more way to add knowledge to my repertoire and it's been a lot of fun so far. The kids are fantastic and I'm really happy for the opportunity to do something for them that made such a difference in my life growing up. I wouldn't want them to miss out on what I had, so I hope I can live up to my own expectations eventually.

In moving back to my home ward I have also inadvertently put myself on the list of 'people to harass when you need something done.' I was asked to put together a group of people to perform some songs at our ward Christmas party this year. It's been an interesting experience and we're performing this Saturday. Pray that all goes well. I'm pretty sure it will turn out alright as things like this usually come together when it's important, but I'm seriously hoping it will be fantastic. I'm both horrified and glad that I was asked to do this, and even more horrified and glad that I said yes. Knowing the nature of the church I am positive that this is just the first of many, many things I will be asked to be in charge of, so it's good practice for me. I've had great people helping me out and I really appreciate the advice and the input they've given. Being in charge of something like this is terrifying for me because I feel like I am putting myself on the line. I'm sure it will go really well, but I know that it would go better if I had been better prepared in organizing this. I've spent my entire life looking at people in charge and thinking 'if I was in charge I would do it like this.' Now I AM in charge and I hope I can live up to the expectations of those who think the same way I do. I'm not living up to my own expectations, but this is a learning experience and next time I will do better.

At work I have had a lot of learning experiences, especially since I've become a manager. I cannot express how grateful I am for the help of my manager Ben. His input has been so inredibly invaluable and he imparts his advice so willingly. I know that he wants us all to succeed, and everything he does reflects that. I've had to do some very uncomfortable things recently that I hoped wouldn't happen until I'd gotten more comfortable with the job, but there was nothing to be done when the problems presented themselves. They had to be taken care of and I didn't know what to do/say. Well, I could've handled myself, but I'm not the most tactful person in the world. Ben has had a lot of practice and experience with things similar to what I was facing, and his advice was more useful to me than I can say. I really truly appreciate his help. Laura too. She is so incredibly patient with all the silly things I do and the mistakes I make. Watching the two of them has shown me the importance of being patient and willing to help anybody who asks. I would definitely like to be looked up to one day like I look up to them.

I named this post Mentors and Dementors because I thought it was clever, haha, but also because I wanted to express how grateful I am for the mentors I've had recently that have helped me overcome my 'dementors,' the problems and new experiences that I feel suck the life out of me. Most of these new things involve the transition of me becoming an adult, and that reality is more draining than anything. It's not just having these adult responsibilities, it's being responsible with and for people whom I've always thought of as older and wiser than myself. Having my friend's parents asking me for advice? That's both terrifying and gratifying and it has raised my thought processes to a whole new level.

I hope I can continue broadening my horizons, experiencing new things, and taking the advice of those who know more than me. I hope none of us EVER take the knowledge of the experienced for granted. I know I have before and I hope I never do again.

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